Opals and Fire
by Miss Saigon
Summary: Rikash Salmalin is coming home after four years at the University in Carthak, but only a few people are glad to see him return. All Kash wants is to be normal, but the immense power of his Gift is not going to let that happen. And then there's the Emperor's daughter...
1. Homecoming

Veralidaine Salmalin stood on the very edge of the port decking, leaning her elbows on the railing. "Look, Numair," she said eagerly, pointing. Her husband squinted against the sunlight to see the ships approaching on the horizon.

"Yes, there's a lot of them," he grunted.

"Oh, you old cynic," Daine sighed, rolling her eyes. She looked around. "Where's Sarra?"

"On the beach," Numair said, "with Suko and Iki."

"Ought they be down there?" Daine said, anxiously craning her neck to try and see her daughter. _Suko? Is Sarralyn all right?_

_She is fine,_ came back the marmoset's thought. It _is nice down here. The water moves up and down! _

_Don't go too deep,_ Daine warned him.

"Daine? You're frowning."

She looked up at Numair. "Oh – she's letting Suko swim," she said. "I know, I worry too much."

"Not all that nervewracking, is it?" said a jovial voice from behind them. It was the King's Champion, looking dangerous as usual despite being half a head smaller than Daine. "Are you worried Rikash'll come back all stiff and serious like Thom?"

"Have you no respect for your brother, Alan?" Numair asked, raising his eyebrows.

"Not much," Alan admitted, grinning playfully. He leaned on the railing next to Daine, his tunic bulging with muscle. "It's the price he has to pay for being the only one of us with any real Gift. A smile would probably crack his face in half. I wouldn't worry about your Rikash, though. If there's anything that boy knows, it's how to have fun."

"That's what worries me," Numair sighed.

"Be nice," Daine said sternly. "The last thing he'll need when he gets here is an interrogation, Numair. You just let him alone."

"Here comes the King," Alan said suddenly, standing up straight. He winced – he had inherited his Knight Master Raoul's dislike for formal precedent. "No stops left unpulled for the Empress."

Daine glanced at the procession gathering on the dock. The entire Royal party gathered in the centre while servants put the finishing touches on the welcoming strip – red carpets, flags flapping in the wind and long tables laid out with refreshments. More servants stood awaiting the piles of baggage that would no doubt be accompanying the arriving dignitaries. Alan hurried over to stand beside King Jonathan, who stood remarkably tall and straight for a man approaching seventy. A chair was eventually brought for him and Queen Thayet. A young girl left the party and came over to stand beside Numair and Daine.

"Morning," she said cheerfully. "How long have you two been waiting?"

"Not long, Princess," Daine smiled. "Ought you not stay with your parents?"

"Oh – Father said I could watch from here," Lianokami shrugged, tossing her long dark hair over her shoulder. "He's more excited than I am, anyway."

"Not excited?" Daine asked. "Not to see your aunt and cousins?"

"I barely know them," the princess said, quite losing any trace of Yamani politeness from her voice. Daine had noticed that the girl was as adept at altering the way she behaved towards people of varying rank as any palace servant. "How long since you saw your son?"

"Four years," Daine replied, her voice laced with both sadness and excitement. "He'll be a man now." "With any luck," added Numair.

"Oh hush, Numair. He's your son. Don't pretend it isn't genetic."

"What's genetic mean?" the princess asked.

"That means something gets passed down from father to son, or mother to daughter – the way you have your mother's hair and your father's eyes," Daine replied. "Rikash... well, he used to be a bit... demonstrative."

Numair snorted. "That hasn't changed, from what I can gather from his Masters' letters."

"Master Passinet seems very nice," Daine protested. "And he said Rikash was one of his best students."

"He's a music teacher, Daine."

"So? I think music is more important in the Carthak University than it is here."

"It wasn't when I went there."

"That was thirty years ago, Numair."

Numair winced. "She always knows just where to bite," he said to the princess. "Like a horse."

Lianokami giggled. "I heard there's a whole delegation from the university."

"Masters and students," Numair told her. "Including your cousin Priya."

"Who apparently wasn't happy when told she might marry a Tortallan nobleman," said another voice from behind them. It was Alanna of Pirate's Swoop, former King's Champion. She wore a shin-length green dress over boots and leggings. "Good morning, Princess. Your mother is asking for you."

"Oh, rats," said Lianokami. "If only they would talk to each other instead of dragging me around all the time." She walked in a stately way back to the royal party.

"Every inch the Princess," Alanna noted, leaning next to Numair. Now over sixty years old, most of her years showed in her shoulders and around her eyes. "Apparently Kalasin's daughter is somewhat wild." "Well, she is half Carthaki," Numair pointed out. "Even if Emperor Kaddar is almost normal, the madness might have skipped a generation."

~*0*~

Kash stood near the prow of the ship, watching the Tortallan coast become gradually clearer. He had been fourteen when he had left. Fourteen, awkward, and at odds with everyone. His friends had started to avoid him, his teachers didn't know what do to with him, and his own parents had been at a loss as to how to speak to him. The only person who had ever understood him was his sister, Sarralyn. He was looking forward to seeing her again. Everyone else... well, he would have to see. He understood the choice his father had made in sending him to the mage's university in Carthak, two years younger than most students would start, but he wasn't sure if he could forgive it.

"Why so glum ?" said Ajit, nudging him. "Aren't you pleased to be home?"

"I suppose so," Kash sighed. He looked over at the Emperor's ship, the biggest of the fleet. "Reckon we can get away from this lot once we get to land? I don't fancy sitting through all the speeches."

"Not if Master Ypit has anything to do with it," Ajit pointed out. He and Kash had been friends for four years now. They made an odd pair – both were dark haired, but Ajit seemed to fade into the background with his chocolate brown skin and soft, cheerful face. Kash, on the other hand, was all sharp edges and piercing blue-green eyes. He tended to stick out in any crowd, and the fact that he was usually taller than everyone else didn't help either. "He'll want us to stick together. Anyway, everyone'll notice if you're not there. Maybe you could ask to be excused, to go with your parents?"

Kash winced. "Maybe I'd rather the speeches."

Ajit blew a curl out of his eyes, the rough sea breeze ruffling his usually neatly-arranged hair. "It can't be that bad. I bet they'll be pleased to see you."

"My father won't be," Kash assured him. "He thinks I'm dangerous."

"Well, you are."

"Thanks. But I mean it, Ajit. No workings, no big projects while we're here. I'm keeping my head down."

"Master Passinet won't like it. He wants to show you off in Prac."

"Too bad. I just want to meet, greet and go home, get my Mastery, and then..."

"Then?" Ajit prompted.

"I don't know. But once I'm a Master it won't matter."

"You are someway from that position yet, young Salmalin," said a disapproving voice.

"Yes, Master Ypit," Kash said, bowing his head to the small balding man in the red robe who suddenly stood near them. "I was only ruminating."

"Go and do it somewhere else, then. We will be ashore in minutes – the two of you, go below and get everyone up here. Full dress robes, all of you."

"Yes, Master Ypit," they chorused.

As they went down the stairs, Kash took a deep breath, and shoved his magic_ down_ as far as it would go. There wasn't any turning back now.


	2. Journeymen

Daine stood with Numair, Sarralyn, Suko the marmoset, the young dragon Kitten, and Sir Neal of Queenscove as the Emperor's attendants led the way up the dock. Daine's heart lifted as Kaddar came into view with Kalasin on his arm. The Emperor was decked out in gold as tradition dictated, but not quite as much as she knew his predecessor, Ozorne, would have. Kalasin looked as beautiful as Daine remembered, in a long pale blue gown and silver adornments. When they reached the dias, Jonathan and Thayet stood to greet them. The King and Queen embraced their daughter and son-in-law, and then Kalasin had to greet all her brothers and sisters, including the Crown Prince Roald and his daughter Lianokami.

"My Royal Cousins," Kaddar said eventually. "Allow me, if you please, to present my daughter, the Imperial Princess Priyana Ghazanoi Iliniat."

Daine peered at the girl the Lioness had deemed 'wild'. She certainly didn't look it. She curtseyed beautifully before gently kissing the cheeks of her grandparents, her dark hair staying elegantly in place where it had been curled up around her sweet, round face.

"Oh," Neal sighed. "Butter wouldn't melt in her mouth, would it?"

"I also present Master Ypit and Master Passinet, of the University of Carthak," Kaddar announced, "and a hand-picked selection of our best students."

Two men in scarlet robes came forward and bowed deeply, followed by a collection of a dozen or so young men and women in white robes with wide bands of colour at the hems - journeymen novices. Daine stood on tiptoe to try and see Rikash through the crowd, but she didn't have to. Suddenly, Kitten let out a gleeful sound and shot forward, pushing through the group of students, who backed away from her in surprise.

"Oh _Kit_," muttered a voice from amongst them. "Trust you to make a scene." The dragon had wrapped herself around Kash's legs, murmering excitedly. "Hush you," he said fondly, reaching down quickly to scratch between her ears. "Now scoot before you get me into trouble. I'll see you later." He watched as the dragon sulkily retreated, and caught his mother's eye through the gap that Kitten had created in the crowd. He gave her a faint, nervous smile, and looked away.

_I'm tired of later, _Kitten sighed. Kadder was smiling as he began speaking again. He had apparently expected something of this nature to occur. Daine was too occupied by the way her son had looked at her to listen to the rest of the introductions. Sarra looked up at her when it seemed like Kaddar might be getting to the end of it. "Ma? You all right?"

"Yes dear," she replied, automatically.

"It isn't like he could have said anything," Sarra whispered, though she too looked concerned. Suko and Iki, descendants of Daine's Carthaki friend Zek, murmered agreement from where they sat on Sarra's shoulders. Their brother Meko had gone with Kash to Carthak.

The party broke up, and people began to move freely amongst the crowd. Emperor Kaddar, to Daine's surprise, was the first to go over to them. "Daine, Numair," he greeted them happily. "It's been too long."

"Your Imperial Majesty," they said, bowing politely. Numair introduced Sarra as Daine stopped Kitten from jumping on Kaddar next.

"Very pleased to meet you, Miss Salmalin," Kaddar said to Sarra, beaming. "I hear your gift with Wild Magic is becoming as legendary as your mother's."

Sarra flushed. A slightly-built girl of twenty, she took after Daine as much as Rikash took after Numair, though her hair was a little darker. "It is kind of you to say so, your Imperial Majesty." Daine smiled at her. Having grown up at court, Sarra was much more well spoken in polite company than Daine herself could have wished to be at that age.

"And good to see you again," continued Kaddar, now talking to Kitten as he obeyed her clear demand to be picked up. "You've gotten heavier."

_I am growing very _slowly_, _Kitten said, with a combination of pride and annoyance.

"I'm sorry for the interruption, Kaddar," Daine said. "She was just excited to see Rikash again." Kitten blew air from her nostrils.

"As are you all, I'm sure," replied the Emperor. "I have got to know him well during the last few years. He's a good lad. The students are under strict rules while they are here, and have been told to remain with their Masters at all times unless told otherwise – except Priya, of course – but I am sure Master Ypit will make an exception..."

"I'm sure we'll see him at dinner," said Numair, sensing Daine's disappointment.

~*0*~

Kash's head was spinning a little as he walked with the other students to their guest rooms. It seemed strange to be walking to a room that wasn't the one he had slept in most nights in his childhood. Master Ypit stopped them outside the rooms. "Change for dinner," he announced. We meet here in an hour whereupon we shall walk together to the dining hall. You shall sit together in the seats assigned to you. Should anyone wander off," he added, icily, and Kash felt a definite pause in the old Master's gaze as he looked in his direction, "I should not care for their chances of leaving this corridor again until the end of the visit. Understood?"

There was a chorus of "Yes Master," and the crowd finally dispersed.

"Still treats us like we're five years old," Ajit muttered, his earlier good humour apparently tested by having to stand for so long in full dress robes. Kash smiled. He was about to say that he didn't mind having to stay close to the others when he felt a hand on his shoulder. "A word?" said Master Passinet. Kash nodded, and waited with him until all the other students had entered their rooms.

Compared to Ypit, Master Passinet was a much more relaxed and personable teacher. He had long grey hair and beard which he had managed to keep immaculately clean and tidy throughout the long voyage. He was smiling at Kash kindly. "I thought you might like the opportunity to reunite with your family," he said. "It seemed a shame that things were cut short, on the jetty."

Kash flushed. "Sorry about Kitten, sir," he said, scratching at an itch that didn't actually exist, a nervous habit. "She, um..."

"I'm sure she was pleased to see you," said Passinet. "I will talk to Master Ypit. You may certainly sit with your family at dinner, since Priyana is granted the same allowance."

Kash gave his Master a wry look. "I'm not sure it's really the same thing, sir. She _is_ a princess. Your princess. She technically outranks all of us."

Passinet laughed. "All the same, it seems most churlish that you not be allowed to speak with your parents after so long apart. I will see to it."

Kash could hardly refuse when the old man was going out of his way to do something nice for him. He forced a smile. "Thank you sir. I should like that."

When he was in his room, he sat on the bed and sighed. Well, he might as well get it over with.

His bag had been brought up by someone, and he got changed, slowly. Meko, who had slept through the whole blessed ordeal on the jetty, roused when cloth shifted around his comfortable pouch in Kash's loose shirt. He shook himself awake and climbed onto Kash's shoulder, apparently surprised that they had arrived in Tortall while he'd been asleep.

"Well don't blame me, you lazy thing," Kash muttered as he straightened his robes. "Anyway it's a good thing you missed it, I didn't need anyone else drawing attention to me." Secretly though, he was glad that Kitten had been so pleased to see him. He didn't need his mother's gift with animals to feel a strong connection to the infant dragon. In a way, they had done some of their growing up together. As a little boy, he had used to ride around on her back, until he got too big. Sarra had had hundreds of animals to talk to if she ever wanted company, but Kash had always relied on Kitten.

"All right," he said, when he had killed enough time unpacking. "Time to face the music." Meko climbed up his sleeve and sat on his shoulder. "Ypit won't like you up there," Kash warned him. "No pets, remember?" Meko sniffed, as if to show just what he thought of Master Ypit. Like all animals who had been or were descended from creatures who had been close to Daine, he was a lot smarter and understanding that normal animals. "'Spect you'll be glad to see your family," Kash said to him. "So am I, of course, but... well."

Meko rubbed his head against Kash's neck comfortingly, though he didn't really understand the problem.

The students walked up to dinner together, Kash explaining to Ajit as they went. As soon as they reached the great dining hall, a servant found Kash and drew him away from the main group, under Ypit's slightly disapproving eye and Master Passinet's pleased one. Kash followed the servant up to the dais where a seat had been set aside for him between his mother and father. They, and Sarra, were seated, but they stood up on seeing him and Sarra ran to him, tossing aside all pretence of politeness. He let her embrace him, and felt himself hugging her back just as tightly as Meko, Suko and Iki had their own, slightly louder, reunion. People were probably looking, but Kash found he didn't really care. "Missed you," Sarra whispered.

"You too," he whispered back, giving her a final squeeze before letting her go. There were tears in her eyes as she reached up to push hair back from his eyes. She had to stand on tiptoe. "You're so _tall!_"

"Like his Da," said Daine from behind her, and Kash found himself in another hug from someone just as badly proportioned to him as his sister.

"Hello Ma," he said, his accent, which had faded quickly in Carthak, suddenly coming back to his voice unbidden. His mother's scent filled his nostrils, the muskiness of her hair, the strangely combined animal smells that were so unique to her, although Sarra was starting to get that way. His mother and sister, the Wild Mages. Everyone knew their names, and everyone respected them and their magic. No one ever much talked about the second child, the one with the Gift, except to grumble about all the trouble he had used to get himself into.

A large hand fell onto his shoulder. This meeting was the one he had most been dreading. He looked up into his father's eyes and forced himself to keep that steely gaze. The memories of the things he had done... the things he had _said _before he'd left... the very thought of them made him cringe inwardly with shame. His parents hadn't known what to do, except to entrust him to the university that had taught Numair himself some of his most potent magic. Potent magic was what Kash was good at, after all. And Kash had ranted and raged and screamed about how they were sending him away, they were abandoning him, well that was fine by him and he was never ever _ever_ coming back. And now here he was, and an apology, four years late, refused to come to his lips. As Daine let go of him and he stood up straight, he was shocked to find that he and his father were now exactly the same height.

He always seemed so huge, Kash thought, still trying to make his mouth say something, say any words at all. So powerful. One of the greatest mages that ever lived. I would have done anything to make him proud, but everything I did was the wrong thing. "Da," he said eventually. It was the only word that his mouth complied to form.

"Rikash," was his father's reply. "You've grown."

"A bit."

Just then, the royal party entered the hall, and everyone fell silent at their chairs. Those who were sitting stood up. Kash moved quickly to stand behind his seat. Kitten, who had a seat to herself on the opposite side, mind-spoke to him through the silence. _Is this later enough, now? _He smiled at her. He liked the way she sometimes refused to follow the rules. He felt his parents and Sarra move into place beside him as the King and Queen, followed by Emperor Kaddar and the Empress Kalasin, entered the hall. They in turn were followed by Prince Roald and his beautiful Yamani Princess, and then Princess Priyana, escorted by one of Roald's brothers, Prince Liam. Kash sighed when he saw her. He had seen her in all kinds of dresses, even in breeches a few times, and sometimes with even less. But as he looked at her now she sparkled in the light, looking every bit from top to toe a princess. Sometimes he forgot she was a princess. It was enough that she was his best friend, and sometimes more. But you could hardly forget, looking at her now.

They sat down, and King Jonathan said a few words welcoming the Carthaki Emperor and his Embassy. The food was brought out and people began eating and talking. Sarra, who was good at sensing when her brother needed rescuing from an awkward situation, began asking him questions about Carthak from her seat next to Kitten. He answered as best he could, though his mind was on other things. He could hear the Emperor explaining that Carthak was in good hands with his son and heir, Prince Moubi. Thayet was fussing over Kalasin and Priyana both.

Meko, having apparently finished his own private reunion with his sisters, climbed up his lap and onto the table. Kash heard a few nearby noblewomen gasp. "Manners," he hissed, and Meko quickly crawled up his sleeve. Risking a glance up, Kash saw Ypit looking over at him from a few seats down. He wondered what the chances were of the old man not having seen anything.

Sarra frowned. "Meko says your teacher doesn't like animals."

"He doesn't much like anyone," Kash replied, very low, feeling a slight wave of jealousy. He was used to Sarra and his mother being able to talk to animals, but sometimes it hurt that they could communicate with his longtime companion in a way that he never could.

"Kaddar says Master Ypit is keeping you all on a very tight leash," Numair said, just as low. "I'm surprised he allowed you to sit with us."

Kash was forced to look at his father again in order to reply politely. "Master Passinet arranged it," he explained.

"I like him already," Daine said firmly. "Silly, not allowing you to go where you please when this is your own home –"

"Ma!" Kash hissed, forcing himself not to check whether Ypit was looking. At least his father had spoken somewhat discreetly.

"He's not listening," Sarra told him, apparently amused. Kash could guess why. Four years ago, the old Rikash wouldn't have cared a fig for getting in trouble with _anyone_, let alone a teacher.

He changed the subject neatly by asking Sarra about her own studies. Her chatter about animals kept up for most of the meal. Daine and Kitten joined in the conversation, but Numair hardly said anything. _He's sizing me up,_ Kash thought. _Figuring me out. Well, he'll see. I can be normal if I want to._

When the last dishes were being taken away, Kash didn't notice that some of the guests had got out of their seats to converse with people too far away to comfortably talk with, until hands suddenly covered his eyes. He jumped and very nearly lost control. Heart pounding as though he had nearly been run over by a runaway cart, he shoved the magic back. It was getting restless already. "Guess who?" said a familiar voice.

"Very funny, your Imperial Highness," Kash said, relaxing slightly. The hands retreated as the girl rested her forearms against his shoulders. "Introduce me," she demanded, smiling around at his family. Kash made hurried introductions, noticing that some nearby nobles were staring. She was not _behaving _like an Imperial Princess. "And this is her Imperial – ow – I mean, my friend, Priya. You didn't have to pinch me," he added to her, reaching up to rub at the now sore point at the nape of his neck.

"I'm so pleased to meet you all finally," Priya said, ignoring him. "Father talks about you so often. Especially you, Kitten," she said, curtseying to the young dragon. _Pleased to meet you, _Kitten replied.

"Oh, and Kash does as well, of course," she added, too late to be convincing. "I'm sorry, I'm so nervous. The Wild Mage who destroyed the old palace! It's one of my favourite stories!"

Daine flushed, and Kash had to hold back a laugh. Someone called Priya's name – it was the Emperor.

"Rats," she muttered. "Well – it was nice to meet you – and I'll see you in class, whenever that is," she added to Kash, pinching him again, but not quite as hard. He slapped at her hand and missed.

"You have classes while you're here?" Numair asked, while Sarralyn stared after Priya. Kash didn't blame her, he might have been staring himself if he hadn't been so annoyed.

"Oh – yes," he replied, jerked back to reality once more. "Some of us have exams soon."

"Ah, I see. Do _you_?" asked Numair.

At that moment Master Ypit stood up, and so, by reflex, did all the Carthak University convoy. Kash found himself on his feet before he even knew what he was doing. Sarra giggled. Only Priya had remained seated though Kash could _tell_, looking at her, that it had taken great force of will not to do so.

Ypit bowed to the royal party and departed the table. Passinet followed him, and the University group began to move. Kash felt torn. He was enjoying spending time with his mother and sister, but he really didn't want to have to answer any more questions about his studies. He decided to take the escape. "I have to go," he said, tucking his chair in behind him. Meko crawled out of his sleeve and clung unobtrusively to his robe behind his shoulder. "It's – really good to see you all. Goodnight."

He hurried after the Masters and the other students, breathing a secret sigh of relief.

~*0*~

"He's changed," Daine said softly as they walked back to their palace rooms, staying close together as they parted from the crowd leaving the dining hall. "He seems..."

"Quieter," Sarra suggested.

"Timid," Daine sighed. "Like a deer, or a rabbit in bright light. Numair, you could have said more to him."

"I had the feeling he didn't want me to." Numair looked upset, though only Daine's highly trained eye could tell.

"You know he thinks we sent him away because we couldn't deal with him. I hate that he thinks that."

"At least he didn't scream at anyone," said Sarra. She, more than anyone other than Rikash himself, had objected to her brother leaving. They had used to be quite close, until his games with his Gift had started getting out of control and he had become brooding and angry all the time. But she still loved him, and she mourned the loss of four years without him.


	3. Dragons of Fire

Kash did not sleep well. Despite the long journey over the ocean to Tortall, it took hours to get to sleep and even then his sleep was troubled. He had disturbing dreams of people calling to him, calling for his help, and being unable to go to them. One by one they caught fire, burning to death as he screamed their names. His mother, his sister, Priya, Ajit, Meko, Kitten, Master Passinet, and his father. The fire that burned them was black and gold. His own magical fire.

Someone knocked loudly at the door, rousing him. Gratefully he flung off the sweat-soaked sheet and went to the door. It was Ajit. "Master Passinet said we could have the morning off," said his friend, who was fully dressed and looking annoyingly awake. "Are you all right?"

"Fine," he grunted.

"What do you want to do?"

Kash thought a bit. "I need to blow off some steam. No magic," he added, when Ajit raised an eyebrow.

"Really? Have you even done any since we left Carthak?"

Kash grimaced. He hadn't, and it had been more than a week now. His Gift – ridiculous as it sounded – _hated _not being used. He could feel it itching at him already, wanting to be let out, wanting to _do_ things.

"The Gods punish those who ignore their Gifts," quoted Ajit, imperiously.

Kash glared at him and flicked his fingers at the open door. It swung closed. The itchy feeling did not diminish in the slightest, but at least no one could hear their conversation by walking past. "I'm not _ignoring _it," he hissed. "I'm just... resting it, for a while. I told you, before I left here I... I did some pretty dreadful things. Or they could have been dreadful, if my father and the others hadn't stopped me. I had no control, I just did whatever my Gift... wanted me to do." This sounded insane, but Priya and Ajit were aware of his Gift's peculiar habit of dictating how it was used. "I want to show them that I'm in control now, and that I don't just throw magic around recklessly." He rubbed his eyes and scratched his scalp through his sleep-mussed hair. "Let's just do some staff practice, or something. I know where the practice courts are."

Ajit grinned. "I was sort of hoping you'd say that."

~*0*~

~*0*~

An hour later found them in the practice courts usually occupied by pages and squires doing their exercises at this time in the morning. There weren't many people about today however, which Kash was grateful for. He was also grateful to be wearing a plain tunic and breeches instead of robes, which were flashy enough, but not nearly as comfortable. Once he and Ajit had settled into a staff drill, he began to feel a lot more relaxed than he had been since they had left Carthak.

Ajit had been raised as a Bazhir warrior, until it had become clear that his magic was more powerful than the shaman who would have to teach him. His parents had made the decision to send him to the Carthak University instead of the Bazhir school for magic, hoping that he would one day become a diplomat for his people. Still, Ajit had not forgotten his lessons in hand fighting and weapons craft from his early years. Kash himself had learned archery and staff fighting from his mother and some of the Queen's ladies when he had been small, and a bit from the Shang Warriors who lived at the palace. But Ajit was the one who had really taught him how to fight with a staff. A lot of mages considered it a waste of time: Kash liked it. He liked being physically fit and he liked knowing he could defend himself without magic. The rhythm of the drill was almost soothing despite the effort it took his body to block each one of Ajit's strikes, and to make strikes of his own.

After half an hour, when sweat was starting to run into his eyes off his forehead, he happened to notice that people were standing and talking just beyond the court boundary. He glanced at them over Ajit's shoulder. It was Master Passinet, and he was talking to Kash's father. Kash was so startled by this that he hesitated in his next block, and the next thing he knew Ajit's staff had collided with his shoulder. He gasped and fell to his knees as Ajit cried out and knelt beside him.

"I'm sorry!" the older boy gasped.

"My fault," Kash muttered through gritted teeth. He could hear footsteps and he just _knew_ the two men were approaching. "Lost concentration."

Ajit shook his head and put a cool hand over the injury. Bright yellow light glowed around his hand for a moment, and the pain receded. "It's not broken," he said, rolling his eyes now he had recovered from his shock. "You haven't let me land one like that in ages."

"I should have known one of you boys would get injured before the end of the first day," sighed Master Passinet as Ajit helped Kash, wincing, to his feet.

"I'm all right, Master," Kash mumbled, rubbing his shoulder. He felt thoroughly embarrassed – he was only just now noticing that there were a few other people present, including Lady Sir Keladry of Mindelan who had turned out for some early exercise. She must have just arrived, as he hadn't noticed her at last night's dinner. Of all the people to get dealt a whack in front of! The look on Numair's face was unreadable.

"You needn't have healed me if it was just a bruise," he told Ajit, thoroughly embarrassed.

"What are you two up to _now?_" sighed a familiar voice. A large group of riders was passing, and Princess Priyana had moved her horse nearer to see what they were doing.

"Hitting each other with sticks, your highness," Ajit grinned.

Priya turned up her nose. "Well if you're done with _that_, grandfather is taking us all on a ride through the Great Forest," she informed them. Kash noticed that Passinet and his father also had horses with them – doubtless they had been about to join the group. "C'mon Kash. The fresh air will wipe that grumpy look off your face."

Kash glared at her, but he could hardly refuse, especially as she gave him no chance to reply before she asked a servant to saddle two more horses for them. "I noticed she calls you 'Kash'," Numair said quietly as the ride moved on, and they waited for the new horses.

"Oh, we all do that sir," Ajit piped up cheerfully. "The er... original Rikash is well known in Carthak." Kash held back a grimace. This was a mild way of putting all that he had had to put up with in Carthak for being named after a Stormwing.

Numair raised his eyebrows at Ajit. "And you are...?"

Ajit introduced himself, not bothering to hide his delight at getting to meet one of the few black robes in the world. Kash let them get into a discussion about magical theory as he mounted his horse. The horse responded to the slightest touch against its side, a sign of having lived in the vicinity of the Wild Mage for most of its life. They caught up with the rest of the group, and Sarra and Daine held back to join them. Kash then had to introduce his mother and sister to Ajit and Master Passinet. Passinet was immediately caught up in the subject of Wild Magic. Daine answered his questions, but Kash could feel her eyes on _him_.

"Are you all right, little brother?" He looked up to see Sarra smiling at him anxiously from where she rode on her pony, Lacie. "You're frowning," she explained.

"That's just his face," sniffed Ajit. Kash didn't understand how he could listen to two conversations at once. "You get used to it."

Sarra laughed, but only politely. Kash couldn't quite shake off the feeling that she was watching him.

They stopped for midday in a large clearing near the road, between the palace and the first village. It would be as far as they would ride before coming back in a slightly different direction. Kash slid easily from his horse. Out of practice he might be, but he had always been a natural rider. He knew better than to offer his hand to his mother or sister, but he managed to catch Master Passinet as he nearly fell from the saddle.

"Thank you my boy," said the man cheerfully as he untangled himself from the patient horse. "Haven't ridden in years, I must admit. My but this place is very, ah, close."

Ajit nodded agreement. Carthak had few forests and much more open plains. Being surrounded by forest was an alien feeling to them. Priya bounced over to them, grinning widely. "Isn't it glorious!" she exclaimed happily. Behind her came Princess Lianokimi, her cousin, who seemed amused by the Imperial Princess' excitement.

"Don't you have trees in Carthak?" she asked.

Priya made a face. Kash was glad to see that she had made a friend among her family – he knew she had been worried about meeting her mother's relatives. "We have _trees_," she protested. "Just not so many in one place. And – oh!"

Kash turned to see that her surprise was caused by the handful of animals who had come of the forest to greet them. "I told you my mother was the Wildmage, right?" he said. She glared at him.

"Seeing it is different," she said, turning her attention back to the vixen and her cubs who were sniffing excitedly at Sarra's hands.

He left them to it, and went over to where Empress Kalasin had just laughed at something her father had said. Kash had always been slightly wary of King Jonathan, even as a child. He seemed friendly enough on the outside, it was just the feeling he gave you that he would notice if you put a foot out of line. He liked Kalasin, though, and Emperor Kaddar. He had eaten with them at the Royal Palace in Carthak a few times, especially after Priya had barrelled her way into his life. Kaddar liked to show him around the Emperor's gardens, which were fast becoming one of the world's great wonders. And he encouraged Kash's music, which he knew his own father would soon discard as a frivolous endeavour. If he knew or guessed the true nature of Kash's friendship with his daughter, he never let on.

"Ah, there you are, Rikash," said King Jonathan, overly pleasant as ever. Kash felt his neck prickle as the hairs stood up. "Its been a while, hasn't it? How are you enjoying the University?"

"Very well, your majesty," Kash replied politely, bowing from the waist. He remembered that the king had supported his exile quite strongly after the last incident had destroyed several rooms in the palace. "It suits me better than I expected."

"The boy is modest," Kaddar chuckled, patting him on the shoulder. He had to reach up, as Kash was a head taller than he was. "You may have noticed he's rather younger than the other journeymen Master Ypit selected to accompany us, and it's not just because he has family here. I hear he is one of their best students."

"I hardly expected anything else, coming from that particular family," said Queen Thayet. Unlike Jonathan, the kindness in her voice was completely genuine. "It's good to see you again, Rikash."

Kash smiled at her. "Actually its just Kash now, your Majesty," he explained.

The servants were laying out blankets and cushions and bringing around food. Kash was just wondering where he would sit and whether he could endure another meal avoiding his father's questions, when he heard Master Passinet calling him. He hurried over, mumbling apologies to the royal families.

~*0*~

~*0*~

There was a class scheduled for the afternoon, in the palace, and unfortunately it was Practical Magic. Passinet usually taught that, as well as Music and Fine Arts, but Ypit decided to put his oar in on this occasion. "Don't think I haven't noticed that several of you haven't practiced at all since we set sail," the old man was lecturing now. Kash was hardly listening. The ride had been enjoyable, mostly, and Passinet and Ajit had managed without meaning to to distract his family from probing too deeply. Now though, their class was being observed by several interested onlookers, including his parents.

"I would like fire shapes, journeymen, and I expect _details_," Ypit continued. "Some of your efforts last time were a shambles."

Priya and Ajit, either side of him began conjuring their shapes immediately. Priya's sprouted blue wings and a long beak, hovering in the air before her as she concentrated.

Everyone had a signature fire shape which they had been working on all year. If they were detailed enough they could be used as a weapon, or even as a kind of familiar. Some, like those Ypit had been referring to, were little more than rough outlines in a ball of fire, the occasional tail or muzzle formed of flame. Some were so independently realistic and intelligent it was almost as if they were alive. Priya's hummingbird, complete, began to buzz around her head, small flames flickering off the tips of its wings. Ajit's yellow hound was half done.

"Salmalin!" Kash jumped. "Don't worry about what the others are doing, get on with it!"

His Gift roared at this indignity. Flames flickered at Kash's fingers and he had to force them back. But he could hardly _not _do magic in class, where it was expected.

He lifted his hands and closed his eyes. It was easier to shape the creature if he saw it only in his mind's eye. He had practiced his shape several nights in a row until it was perfect, and it had remained so, not that Ypit would ever admit as much. When he opened his eyes, a dragon made out of black and gold fire hovered in the air beside him. He let it land, where it stretched and lashed its tail. It was a full-grown dragon, not a baby like Kit, only much tinier than its flesh and blood counterpart. The elegantly curved back only came up to his knee. It was quite a bit larger than most of the others' shapes, although Ajit's came close. The yellow dog, flickering orange at its core, nuzzled at the dragon, who hissed flame at it.

"Stop that," Kash muttered, concentrating on keeping the shape. He could let it go after a minute or so, and it would stay for about an hour. He'd never tried to make it last longer, and he wasn't sure what would happen if he did.

The magic didn't _want_ to concentrate on keeping the shape. It wanted to make it bigger, faster, stronger. He forced it down. It rose up again. He let out a breath and fought back. It had hardly ever been so bad before! It was still _his _Gift, even if it was sometimes troublesome, it did what he wanted it to. But now it was as if he had barely any control, it was slipping away...

Ypit was giving the next instruction, something to do with getting their shapes to affect physical objects, but he couldn't listen, he could barely think.

_No,_ he thought firmly. _I am in control._

The Gift seemed to think differently. As if he was barely attached to it at all, it leapt free of him and the dragon roared as it increased in size and turned on the blue hummingbird. Kash heard Priya gasp as the bird was consumed by black and gold flame, before it advanced on the princess.

Kash slammed the Gift back with all his might. The shape dissolved.

Ypit was hurrying over, anger all over his face. "What," he hissed, so that their audience – Kash winced inwardly as he remembered – wouldn't hear, "was that about, boy?"

"I'm sorry Master," Kash panted. "I think – I hurt my arm earlier and I can't really concentrate."

Ajit raised his eyebrow, but at Kash's pleading look he piped up. "My fault sir," he added. "Bit of an accident at staff practice this morning."

"Mages," Ypit hissed. "Should be able to perform magic when they are tired, or injured, or in the midst of battle. I'm surprised at you, Rikash. Master Passinet has been trying to convince me of your readiness to complete the Mastery Examinations in September. I see now that he must certainly have been wrong in his assessment."

Kash flushed hotly.

"Get out of my sight," Ypit ordered. Kash fled.

Numair was waiting for him in the corridor outside. Kash avoided his gaze. "What happened?" asked his father softly.

Kash felt his throat close up. "I'm tired," he said. "I didn't get much sleep last night."

"That would make a fire shape harder to conjure, not make it attack someone," Numair pointed out, frowning. "I've never seen one attack someone unless it was ordered to."

Kash looked up at last, glaring into his father's eyes. "I didn't order it to hurt Priya!" he snapped. "I never would."

"Then what _did_ happen?" asked Numair. "Rikash, I thought that you had mastered control at the University. Master Passinet speaks very highly of you, I had hoped that things were different –"

Kash pushed past him, feeling his magic rage once again. It took all his strength to keep it in check. "You don't understand," he snarled. "You never even _tried_ to understand."

_I don't understand myself, _he thought desperately. _Why now? Why did it choose today to spin out of control?_

"Oh," he added, turning to glare once again. "And its Kash, now." With that, he fled to his room.


	4. Forbidden

Someone knocked on the door about two hours later when he was curled up on the bed alone, staring at the wall. Meko was still out, no doubt continuing his family reunion elsewhere. Iki was his dam and Suko his litter-mate, and he had left them both behind to go with him to Carthak all those years ago. He liked to think the marmoset had come of entirely his own volition, but he couldn't help suspecting that Sarra had had something to do with it. His sister hadn't wanted him to go alone. But he was always alone, in the end.

He wished his magic were a living creature, or even a fireshape. Something that could communicate. It didn't have emotions of its own, or a brain of its own. It just _did _things on its own, in a way he had never heard of before. People would think him crazy if he tried to explain that. Well, most people.

The knock came again, a little louder this time. "Kash? Its me."

He was powerless to resist that particular voice. He sat up and flicked his fingers at the door. It opened to admit Priya, who shut it quickly behind her. "You should leave it open," he said tiredly and without much conviction.

"I don't think you want people hearing what we need to talk about," she said softly, coming to sit beside him. Her dark hair had come out of its golden ties, and hung like a waterfall around her sweet, round face. Her colouring spoke loudly of her father's Carthaki heritage, but her Gift, and her stubbornness were all Conte.

She put a tentative hand on his shoulder. "What happened?"

He folded his arms on his knees and rested his head on them. "It got away from me again," he whispered, in humiliation. He knew she would listen, and understand, when no one else would, except maybe Ajit. He just wished he didn't have to.

She bit her brown lip, her eyes filled with concern when he dared to look up at her. "Well... you pulled it back."

"Almost too late," he argued shortly. The sight of the great fire dragon rearing against the princess seemed to be burned into the back of his eyelids, so that he saw it whenever he closed his eyes.

"It wouldn't have hurt me," she said confidently. She touched the slight lump under her gown where the cord around her neck ended.

"No, but if it had been someone else..."

"But it wasn't. Listen, maybe you shouldn't be holding back. You said your magic starts to... to overflow if it builds up too much..."

He snorted. "Which is mad."

"Mad or not, you can't just ignore it!" she protested. "Listen, bleed some off now, while I'm here. And no one will mind if you do little magics around the place."

"Little magics don't do much," he argued, but he looked up as she drew the stone on its chain out from her bodice. He took it in his hand. It was very warm where it had soaked up the heat from her body, and when it touched his skin it tingled dangerously with power.

It was a black opal, a large one, so expensive that she had had to borrow money from the royal treasury to help him buy it, and she had never told him quite how she'd gotten away with it. He had been siphoning his power into it for so long that he didn't like to think how powerful it was. At least in this stone form, it wasn't painful. It didn't demand to be used. But somewhere deep within the stone he could feel his Gift calling to him.

He closed his fingers around it and it blazed. Priya closed her eyes and turned her head against the light, but he stared resolutely at it as he transferred into it as much power as the stone could take at one time. He felt the pain - if it could truly be described as pain - ease slightly as the thing glowed with black and gold fire. Once he was done, he didn't feel drained or even tired, but he did feel a bit more normal. "Better," he managed to say, slightly croaky. "Thank you."

"You're welcome," she said, tucking the stone away inside her gown. She lifted a hand and gently pushed a comma of hair away from his eyes. He realised suddenly how close she was and put up a hand to stay hers.

"Kash," she said after a moment. "Papa is arranging a marriage for me."

His heart sank, as if he hadn't already been miserable enough. For a while he could think of nothing to say. Then he said, "Already?"

"I'm turning eighteen in August, that's late for any noblewoman to be betrothed, especially a princess," she pointed out. It was hard to guess her reaction to the news. As a princess she was good at hiding her emotions. Better than he was. "Mama was promised to Papa when she was twelve." She let her hand fall slowly, taking his with her. "Say something."

He shook his head. "We knew nothing would come of it," he said, forcing the words through unwilling lips. "We knew it was only temporary."

Her eyes turned fiery and she dropped his hand, all pretence of imperial impartialness gone. "Is that all you can say?"

He looked at her sadly. "What do you want me to say? Should I be angry?"

"Yes! You should be fighting for me!"

Kash chuckled darkly. "We've been over this Priya. I'm no noble –"

"Papa could make you a noble! Or King Jonathan, who owes your family –"

"Even if they did, marriage to me would not benefit Carthak, and that is what your marriage must do," Kash recited. It seemed like it was someone else saying the words. "In fact, after today I think a match between _us _would be extremely detrimental to Carthak or anywhere. I definitely should not have that much power." He sighed. "I don't want to be a Prince, Priya. I just want to get my Mastery and go somewhere where I can make music and see beautiful things. And _not_ get people killed."

Her eyes filled with tears. "I know," she said, struggling to speak as much as he had been. "But it isn't fair. I have brothers and sisters who can marry for Carthak. But Papa seems to think some Tortallan nobleman – and I don't want to live here! It's beautiful, but I belong at home. With you."

Kash tried not to figure out which Tortallan nobleman the Emperor might have chosen for his eldest daughter. She distracted him in any case by kissing him, lightly at first but then firmly, desperately, her tears damp and cool on his cheeks. Would this be the last time? he wondered, and knew she was wondering the same.

He lost himself in her need for a few minutes, almost forgetting the disaster that was his quest for his Mastery, the insanity that was his life and the family he was ashamed to face, until he forced himself back into the real world. When her hands reached under his tunic he put a hand on her shoulder and pushed her away gently. "You are betrothed..."

"Did I say I was betrothed already?" she demanded, drawing her hand back. "I said he was looking."

"Still, we shouldn't be doing this," he said quietly, though the words stung him. "It's death to even kiss an unwed Carthaki princess." She knew that already, of course, and had known since the first, but they had not let it come between them until now, when it was necessary. The university was far away from the Imperial Palace, and there had been a lot more freedom. To do this in the same building as the royal family was madness, she had to realise that. "You must go," he insisted. "Before someone finds you."

She stared at him, clearly hurt, but knowing he was right. She stood up and smoothed out her skirts. "Will I see you at dinner?" she asked, not looking at him.

He grimaced. He couldn't bear the thought of facing all those people again. "Get Ajit to tell Ypit – no, Passinet, that I'm ill," he suggested. "I think I'll sleep through dinner tonight."

She nodded and left without another word. Kash laid down with a sigh, touching his lips lightly with his fingertips. The gentle touch of her small, soft mouth was still there, the last ghostly reminder of a last forbidden kiss.

~*0*~


	5. Arabi

He woke after dark. It was pitch black in the room, and someone was hammering on the door. It was Ajit. "Kash! Kash get up, we need your help! It's Priya!"

He launched himself out of bed and wrenched open the door. His tunic and breeches were wrinkled where he had slept on them, but he didn't care at all. "What about Priya?"

"She's missing," Ajit said, wide-eyed. He was alone, still in his dress robes from dinner. "Her maid said she was ill, and she never came to dinner. Then she went to check on her and she was gone."

"She went for a walk?" Kash suggested, his lips moving while his brain raced.

Ajit shook his head. "Its past midnight – she never came back, the palace staff have looked everywhere. The Emperor is sure she's been kidnapped. No one can scry her at all."

Kash swallowed. A Carthaki princess kidnapped in Tortall. Was someone trying to start a war? Surely it could be for no such frivolous reason as money. The princess' family was too dangerous for any such stunt.

"Kash!" Ajit prompted him. "Could you find her? Do you have anything of hers? They're doing focus spells now, with her hairbrush and things from her room, but you'd be faster."

Kash stared at him for a moment, then blinked. "I don't need a focus," he said. "She has something... something of mine, and I _always _know where it is."

If Ajit saw anything strange in this, he seemed to put it aside for a later discussion. "Where?" he asked instead.

Kash closed his eyes, briefly. The black opal blazed in his mind's eye, fresh with power. "East, the Temple District," he muttered. "Near Language Street, I think."

"That's it?"

"I can't see the location itself," Kash told him. "Just distance and direction. Its a good thing I know the city as well as I do... all right, listen. I'm going there, now. You must find the King, and Master Numair, and tell them to meet me there. I'll send up a sign."

Ajit nodded. He didn't even question the idea. Kash silently thanked the gods that he had such a loyal friend in Ajit. Any other young mage might have been jealous, or even afraid, knowing as much about Kash's power as he did.

Kash barely waited until his friend was out of sight before concentrating his magic inward. Dematerialisation was a dangerous way even for a mage to travel. He had heard that it had been one of Thom of Trebond's favourite tricks, but he wasn't about to make excuses based on the habits of a young Master who had died before the age of twenty. He did it now because need drove him, need and fear. He could feel the magic start to rise again, boiling itself into a frenzy in the pit of his stomach.

He rematerialised in a dark room, luckily with all his arms and legs attached. He flicked his fingers, and light came to them in the form of a black-gold flame. It was a storeroom, unused perhaps for years. In the corner sat Priya, bound and gagged, still in the gown she had been wearing earlier. She wasn't moving. He knelt beside her, letting his light break away from his hand to hover in the air, and put his hands either side of her head, searching for her. She was there, but very weak. He could see that she had already used up her magic trying to escape. Pride burned in him momentarily, but how was he going to get her out when she couldn't even stand?

He took her hand and, praying to the Gods that the opal would protect her, gently pushed some of his power into her. She stirred and opened her eyes. He gave her a little more, and she seemed to realise what was happening. He reached for the gag and found it tied with strong magic – familiar magic, but he couldn't quite place it. Growling angrily, he ripped through the spell and the fabric as one, and did the same with the chains that bound her. The metal that parted between his fingers might as well have been made of grass.

"Kash?" she whispered. "Where are we?"

"In the city," he told her. "Hush, we have to get you out of here. Who did this, did you see?"

She shook her head, flexing one wrist as he chafed her ankles to bring life into them. "It happened so fast. I stepped out of my room to go for a walk, and... some kind of mage am I! I couldn't even get of their damn spells! They drained me faster than I could think to save my strength -"

"They're strong," Kash told her. "Stronger than most I've seen, except perhaps my father, or the King, or Master Thom." The eldest son of the Lioness occasionally visited the University in Carthak.

"_You_ got through them," she pointed out.

"Of course," he replied, grinning. It was the first time he'd felt at all good about his Gift in days.

"Aren't you a useful fellow to have around," she muttered. "All right... I think I can stand. But..." she looked around, the room softly illuminated by the flame hovering beside Kash. "Kash... there's no door."

He looked around. She was right. They were encircled by four walls, and no door to be seen. He sniffed. He had seen such rooms before, and none had been impossible to get out of, so far. He opened his mind to the magic, searching out the spell that kept the door unseen. He eventually found it in the ceiling. "Trap door," he muttered, and pointed. It was locked both physically and magically, but a short burst of power caused it to fall open. It was loud, and they waited for a moment, but heard no one coming.

Kash climbed up through the hole first, finding himself in a plain corridor. He helped Priya up and steadied her. Looking around, he sensed a maze of corridors in either direction. He sent out a flare of black and gold fire, asking it to seek the air outside. Supporting Priya, he followed the signal it sent him. Before long he found they were exiting the building into the cool evening air. It was dusk, but he knew enough of the city to figure out their location. They were indeed on the edge of the temple district, the building they had left was a town house currently unoccupied except perhaps for servants, but the temple of Mithros was only just down the street. It would be a long walk to the palace. Kash raised a hand and sent up a flare of black-gold magical fire, to lead the search party to them. "Rest," he told Priya, helping her to sit outside the wall. Just as he was rising, something came cannoning towards him out of the corner of his eye. Instinctively he threw up a shield of black fire. Whatever it was rebounded, but the force of it sent a shock shuddering through his bones. That was very, very strong magic.

He took down the shield so that he could see, but remained on his guard, slightly crouched, ready to spring in any direction while shielding Priya with his body. The girl let out a gasp, and Kash looked up. There was a woman, tall and dark, standing on top of the wall that enclosed the house behind them. She was dressed in black, and her long black hair fell almost to her knees. She walked along the wall and then stepped off it, gliding slowly down to stand before them. She was in her early thirties, perhaps, from her gait, but when Kash looked into her face he felt a twinge of fear. Her eyes were totally mad. "Arabi?" he whispered.

"Well played, Salmalin," sneered the woman, tossing back her hair. "I didn't expect you so soon. Your talents continue to expand."

"We thought you were dead!" Priya cried, raising herself with her hands but not quite able to stand herself. Kash knew she had exhausted herself trying to escape. She was defenceless. All the same, he had a feeling that this wasn't about Priya.

"A trap for me, Arabi?" he called, noting the sound of horses and shouting approaching. "With Priya as bait? That's a dangerous move, even for you. You will have made an enemy of two nations."

"I have enemies enough already," Arabi said cooly. "Some more will make little difference." She looked up. Kash knew without looking that the search party had reached them, and was coming down the road at speed. Arabi raised a hand, revealing a ball of sparkling multi-coloured fire, and spoke into it. Almost immediately a shield appeared, very large, it covered the area in which she, Kash and Priya stood, including part of the wall from which she had descended. It was bowl shape, covering them completely. Kash recognised this type of shield as one built by mages and anchored by black opals, such as that used to encircle Fief Dunlath many years ago. That shield had been created by three mages. Judging by the many, sickly swirling colours of the one Kash saw now, it had the strength of perhaps seven or eight mages behind it. It would be impassable. He looked behind the shield to see a group of riders come to a halt. He recognised the king, the emperor, his own parents, and the Masters from the University. Ajit was at the front beside Numair, looking worried.

"Arabi!" cried Master Ypit from his horse – Kash was surprised the horse would accept such a stiff rider, and also that the shield, which seemed to cut him off from the world with all his senses, would allow sound to carry. "You are alive?"

Arabi merely tossed her hair, a ball of magical fire growing in her palm. Like the shield, it swirled with many colours. Kash stared at it. That was wrong. Very wrong. No mage should be able to use another's power, let alone several mages'. He tried to remember what colour her magic had been originally, but could not. Some years ago, not long after his arrival at the University, he had beat Arabi in a duel. She, as an older and experienced student, had been supposed to beat him easily, but in those days he wouldn't let anyone beat him. She had been furious, but he hadn't thought much of it. Not long after she had disappeared, and there had been a fire in the nearby bathhouse. Her bag and some of her things had been found there, and it had been assumed that she had died.

"What are you doing?" Kash asked her softly, still on his guard. Arabi had gone to a lot of effort to bring Priya here, confine her, and summon that shield. She clearly had a point to prove, and he doubted it would be good for him.

"I want my rematch," Arabi hissed, loud enough so that the watchers from outside the shield could hear quite clearly. "You are powerful, Rikash Salmalin, perhaps more powerful than any mage living. You bested me before. But see me now. My power is multiplied tenfold by what I have learned." Without warning, without even any gesture, the ball of fire she had been working on sped towards him. Again he shielded himself and Priya, feeling the impact shake him almost to his knees. "This time I will win, Salmalin! And I will have your life, and that of your royal lover, as forfeit!"


	6. Nothing to Lose

Kash heard gasps from the crowd, which now included a significant percentage of the populace, but there was no time to worry about that now. "You're tainted," he told her, unable to hide the horror in his voice. "Your Gift is not your own."

"It is mine because I have _earned _it!" the woman practically shrieked. "Four strong mages I have killed with my power, and taken their power for my own. And when I have _yours_," her eyes lit up and for a moment her body seemed to glow with the twisting, swirling light of her power. "When I have _yours_, no mage on earth will be my better or my equal. All shall fear me!"

More terrible fireballs came his way, and Kash was forced to block them, unable to dodge in case he left Priya exposed. He wished they were not trapped.

"Let Priya go," he shouted above the hum that her shuddering Gift was making, and the noise from outside the shield. "You want to fight me – fine. But she has nothing to do with it."

"I'll have her Gift too," Arabi cackled. "A royal Gift. Strong."

"She hasn't any left of it to give you!" Kash shouted back, even as he had to throw up yet another shield. Suddenly the fire that streamed from Arabi's hands began to take form. It was a fire shape, enormous, bigger than Kash himself. It was some kind of four-legger, a wolf perhaps, or a bear, somehow indistinct but no less dangerous. It roared, and the sound it made caused almost everyone around to cover their ears. Hurriedly Kash called up his own fire shape.

"No!" it was Numair, calling from behind the shield, his voice magically magnified. "Rikash, no – you will lose it!"

But Kash knew he wouldn't. His Gift was surging through him now, rejoicing, revelling in the way it felt as it coarsed through his veins. The dragon streamed from his hands to become even larger than the wolf-bear-shape, roaring and breathing black-gold flames. The two shapes began to grapple with each other.

The wolf-bear-shape was strong, he could feel it, but the dragon had a stronger hide. The thing clawed at his dragon with huge paws, drawing thick funnels in the flames, but they roared up again to make the shape whole. The dragon breathed fire at the thing, and it yowled and launched itself forward like a cat, bowling into the dragon and sending it rolling and hissing across the stone.

Enough, Kash thought. He let the dragon go to fend for itself, and made his own, deadly fireball. She's made her point. Now its time to end this. He threw the fireball, his first move made in attack rather than defence. Arabi's shield only just deflected it, but she laughed it off. "A worthy opponent at last," she cawed. Then the fight began in earnest.

Kash forgot about his parents, forgot about all the people watching from outside the dome. He could barely see Arabi through the battle of the fire-shapes and the light of both their Gifts as it flew through the air. She cursed him in ways that he had never heard of, ways that would certainly have been deadly if his shielding spells hadn't been as strong as they were. He had to use more power than he ever had in his life just to defend himself. She was right, somehow she was using the Gifts of other sorcerers. It was like fighting five mages, not just one. And yet, he stuck to defensive magic, or spells that would stun her or knock her out for a while. He didn't want to kill anyone. Anyone else.

Then the dragon roared again, triumphant. The wolf-bear-cat creature howled and shrank, dissolving into a pile of tiny flames that flickered and went out.

Arabi shrieked with anger, and let loose a spell that broke through Kash's shield. Although dampened, it hit him with a force that sent him flying against the magic dome. The impact simultaneously shook and stung him all over. He fell to the ground, cursing inwardly as he struggled to get back up. The dragon had gone. The smoke and the fire seemed to be clearing, and through it came Arabi, towering over him, her hands burning inside balls of multicoloured flame. "Die!" she shrieked at him, and he pulled up a shield, just in time. Into it he put everything he had left, the last scraps of his power, and boosted it to reflect, not just absorb. Arabi's own spell came hurtling back towards her. She called up her own shield with another harsh cry, but her spell barrelled through it and hit her full in the chest. She fell against the dome and did not move.

There was silence from outside the dome. Breathing hard, Kash got to his knees and crawled over to Priya. She was still conscious, but barely. She smiled at him. "You all right?"

Kash stared back her. "I feel weird," he told her. "Empty. My Gift... I think... I used it all."

"There's a first time for everything," she said with mock cheerfulness. Then he saw it in her eyes, something terrible, as her expression changed. "Kash," she said softly.

People outside the dome were shouting. Kash looked up. The dome was moving. Far from dissolving or disappearing, it was moving inwards on all sides and above, shrinking in on itself. Kash stared in horror. If it kept moving, it would descend on them and crush them. Arabi was not letting them go that easily.

"Do something!" he heard the Emperor cry.

"The shield is anchored by black opals!" Kash thought that must be his father's voice. "Unless we can find them in time..."

But there was no time. The thing was speeding up, now only a few metres away. Kitten, from her perch on Daine's horse, shrieked at the barrier, but it only wavered a little.

"Kash," Priya whispered again. He looked at her helplessly. "We're going to die, aren't we?"

Something clicked in his brain then. "Probably," he said. "Nothing to lose," he added softly to himself.

He turned to the rapidly approaching shield. "Get back!" he shouted at the people behind it. "Back!"

He heard a squeal, and realised it was Meko, pounding on the shield with his little paws, even though it must have hurt him. Then Sarra was there, scooping him up. Her eyes were wide with fear and grief. Kash looked back at her. "Get them back," he said softly.

"But –"

"Back!" he shouted again. "Your Majesty, Da, get them back!"

He couldn't wait any longer for them to obey him. Already the shield had caught Arabi's body, dragging it towards him. He ran to Priya and fumbled for the cord around her neck. He pulled the stone out of her bodice and took it in his hand. It was warm. He closed his eyes. Deep within the stone he felt his Gift, waiting for him. He had been storing power in it now for two years, ever since the time he had first killed, when Priya had seen what he was and agreed to help him. It hummed with power, reaching out to him. It wanted to be used. Opening his eyes again, he saw Priya staring at him. "If this doesn't work," he said softly. "You should know... I do love you."

"I know," she told him. "Of course I know."

He clenched his hand around the stone and called the magic forth. His hand blazed with power, lighting up the night all around them. He felt strength and power flow once again into his veins, greater and more powerful than even before, if that was possible. He felt an agony that somehow sang terribly and wonderfully through his every bone, every muscle, every cell of his body.

Holding back a scream, he turned and found the shield only inches from him, advancing. He raised his hand and shoved _out_ against the barrier with all his might.

~*0*~

Outside the shield, Sarra, Daine and Numair had succeeded in dragging the contingent of palace people and city dwellers about halfway down the street. Although the three of them knew there was no hope, there was something in Kash's voice that had compelled them to obey.

Empress Kalasin was fighting the hardest to get to her daughter, and Daine had a shaking but strong hand on her horse's reins. Kitten had curled up and gone grey. Numair, tears already staining his cheeks, was restraining Emperor Kaddar. Ypit and Passinet, who had both joined the search party, had helped with the city people. Those who had taken their eyes off the shrinking barrier turned back to it when a shout reached them. Kash had put up a hand. The next thing anyone knew, the world had exploded around them.

Horses reared despite Daine and Sarra's hold on them, and some palace people fell from their mounts. The sound was huge, and the darkness lit up around them for miles around, leaving bright white spots on everyone's vision so that for a time, all was deafness, blindness and confusion.

The Empress Kalasin broke free of Daine's hold by climbing off her skittish mount and running over to the wall. The others followed her. Half of it had come down, but in a little sheltered pocket in the centre, Princess Priya still sat upright. She was shaking Kash's limp body where it lay in her lap, the stone still clutched tightly in his hand.


	7. The Mother's Gift

Numair stared down at his son. Rikash had been brought back to the palace over his father's horse, and hurried to Lady Alanna and Sir Nealan, Tortall's best healers. Priya had lost consciousness also on the ride back. Lady Alanna had pronounced her well, only exhausted from using up all her magic. She was resting in her own rooms.

Kash was another matter. The two healers, Numair himself, Daine, Sarralyn, the two Masters from Carthak University and Kash's friend Ajit were gathered in the room, watching him. Those of them who could see magic found it hard to look at him. His Gift should have been gone. It _had_ been gone, back on Language Street. But it was coming back fast, and it roiled and twisted inside him, like... like a _disease_, Numair couldn't help thinking. Stripped to the waist, Kash was sweating, hot and cold as though feverish, and he tossed and turned under the blankets. Neither Lady Alanna nor Sir Neal could find any sickness in him. Somehow, Numair knew it was his Gift that sickened him.

_It looks like a storm,_ said Kitten somberly. She was still a lifeless, stoney shade of grey. _A magic storm. _

"Can't we do anything?" Daine begged, her hands white where she clenched them on her knees. "He's in pain."

Numair put a large hand over one of hers. For once in his life he could think of nothing comforting to say.

"Why did we not see this before?" Master Ypit asked. He sounded calm, which was more than Numair thought he could do at this moment.

"He hid it," Ajit said quietly from his position in the corner. "He's good at hiding things."

They all turned to look at him. "Explain," said Master Ypit in his most commanding teacher's voice.

Ajit spoke without looking at anyone. "His Gift makes things hard for him. Sometimes it does things he doesn't want. It gets too much for him. And if he doesn't use it, it builds up, like." He glanced at Kash and looked away quickly. "But I never saw it like that, before."

The door opened, and the King came in, followed by Emperor Kaddar, to everyone's great surprise. They all stood up. A few people bowed, but Numair was not in the mood for such courtesies. "How is the princess?" Daine asked Kaddar.

"She does well," said Kaddar gravely. "Her mother is with her."

"There is something you must all know," said King Jonathan, closing the door behind him. "The city guard reports that they found a house partially destroyed – exploded, on the other side of the city. They found the model of the house and the black opals that secured the barrier. The whole thing was destroyed. There were also eight men and women, all dead."

There was silence for a while. "Impossible," Numair said hoarsely after a while. His throat was so tight that it was hard to form words.

"The barrier's destruction coincided with the explosion," Jonathan continued grimly.

"Impossible," Numair said again. "Jon, it can't be done. We have seen shields of this like before – they simply cannot be destroyed remotely. Especially one held in place by more than one mage! I could not hope to attempt such a thing. These barriers merely absorb any Gift used against them."

"And yet it _was _done," said the Emperor. "I'm sorry Numair, Daine, but I see danger in this, for all of us."

Daine stood up, her eyes gone cold and hard. "What are you saying, Kaddar?" she hissed. "That woman was trying to kill him, _and _your daughter! He was defending himself and her. What's wrong with that?"

"Something _is _wrong," said Numair softly. "Look at him, Daine."

Kash moaned and thrashed, his hands and arms suddenly burning with black and gold fire, barely contained.

"We saw this before he left," said the King. "He used his Gift recklessly, without control. Now it controls _him_."

"I object most strongly to that," said Master Passinet, drawing himself up. "I believe I am best suited to comment on my student's abilities. You have seen him use his Gift in battle, but I say to you that were he to use it to play you music, or paint an illusion, you would not argue with his control. He is powerful, but he is not a threat to -"

Kash suddenly sat up, awake, his eyes wide and breathing heavily. He looked at his hands, flickering with black fire, and grit his teeth. "Kash," said Passinet, in a firm voice that none but Ajit had expected. "Draw it back."

"I can't!" Kash moaned, fighting with all the strength he could find. "It hurts." The Gift was raging in him now, wanting an outlet, wanting to fight _more_. He swore at it and dragged it back, but for each bit he shoved back, another rushed forward with elation. He still felt drained, exhausted, and he had no idea how he had got here. He just knew that any minute now he was going to lose control, and the spread of damage would be a lot more than just this one room. Everyone else knew it, too.

"Draw it back!" shouted Ajit, sounding panicked.

"I can't!" Kash got to his knees on the bed. He had to get out, somehow. But dematerialising again would require using his Gift, and all he could concentrate on was stopping it doing something _terrible. _He was burning hot all over. If he lost control now, he would destroy everything, everyone around him, people he loved, Ajit, his parents... "No!" he shouted at himself. "No, no, no!"

_Enough_.

The sheer power of the voice was enough to cause nearly everyone in the room to drop to their knees. Only King Jonathan, Alanna, Numair and Daine remained standing. In front of Kash's bed was a tall woman draped in a long robe. Kash had met her once before while staying in the Divine Realms with his Grandparents. "Great mother," he begged. "Can you help me?"

She reached out and touched his forehead. Suddenly the battle inside him ceased. He fell back, and she caught him, her grasp surprisingly strong. He was not empty. His Gift was there. But it was still, calm, like the surface of a pool. "Is this what it feels like to be normal?" he asked her hoarsely.

She frowned. _It is too much_, she said, though she didn't seem to be speaking to him. _It will overpower him. _

_No. _The voice came from somewhere else, a male voice, booming and even more terrible than hers. _It is all that he needs._ The voice made his head pound, but Kash was too tired to put his hands over his ears.

_Then my gift to him comes now_, said the Great Mother Goddess. _And don't argue, brother. You have meddled enough with Weiryn's grandson. He will not thank you for it. _Gently she drew a circle on Kash's forehead, and he fell unconscious once more. She let him gently down onto the bed, and turned to the rest.

_Dangerous he may be_, she told them. _But it is a necessary danger. Guard him well, for you shall need him, and others like him, very soon. _And she was gone.


	8. Priya

~*0*~

Priya woke up two days later. The nurse who was watching over her didn't want to leave, but after Priya had demanded, and stamped her foot, and finally, when all else failed, burst into tears, the girl went to fetch someone who actually knew what was going on.

Empress Kalasin came in with a look of utter relief on her face. "Oh Priya," she gasped, coming to her and putting her arms around her. "We were so worried."

"Is he dead?" Priya asked straight away. "Did he die, Mama? Tell me."

Kalasin drew back and looked at her. "No. He's alive."

Priya thought she might be sick with relief. "Can I see him?"

"Priya -"

"I need to see him, Mama. He needs me."

"Priya -"

"Mama, you don't understand. Please -"

"Priyana, that is quite _enough_." '

Priya stopped. The tone of her mother's voice was stern, and quite out of character. She waited, breathlessly.

"Journeyman Salmalin is still sleeping," the Empress said eventually. "Both of you have been through a great ordeal, and you both need to rest."

Priya put a hand to her breast, and felt her heart sink when she felt only her own skin under her nightdress. "Where's my opal?"

Kalasin looked unsure whether to answer.

"Mama!"

"All right, dear. Master Numair has it."

"Why? He shouldn't touch it, no one should touch it but me!"

"There was no power left in it, Priya. It was quite safe to touch."

Priya swallowed. Even she, who had worn the opal since the first time Kash had siphoned power into it, wasn't sure just how much power it held. Kash had used it _all_? She had seen him play a symphony with just a touch of magic. Bring down a band of bandits with just one hand. _All _of it? He could have destroyed the city.

"Please, Mama," she said after a moment. "I need to see him. Even if he's asleep, just to make sure he's alive."

Kalasin gave her a strange look. Belatedly, Priya remembered what Arabi had said to Kash in the midst of battle. _I will have your life, and that of your royal lover, as forfeit! _She felt her heart sink, and slow to the point of nearly stopping. How many people had been in that crowd? How many people that she knew? Her parents, her mother's family, Carthaki nobles. They all _knew_. Unless…

"Mama," she said, very slowly and carefully. "You didn't _believe_… what that woman said… about me and Kash, right?"

Kalasin's face was a blank. "We haven't talked about it," she said shortly. "At least, not with the Salmalins. They have enough to deal with."

"That's nice of you," Priya said politely. "But really, Mama, there's nothing to worry about. Kash and I are just friends, that's all. Good friends."

This seemed to mollify her mother slightly. "I thought it must be something like that," she said. "And Rikash is a good boy. But there will be rumours now, Priya. We don't want to damage your reputation."

"Stuff reputation." Priya sighed and tossed her hair, a move that would never have worked with her father, but she knew Kalasin understood the burdens of being a princess. It was said Kalasin had wanted to be a knight, once, and had insisted on meeting and getting to know Kaddar before agreeing to marry him.

"Very well, Priya," the Empress sighed. "Later, if you are feeling up to it, I will take you to see him. You had better make sure you have a chaperone with you at all times whenever you speak to him, from now on…."

"I'm ready _now_," Priya insisted, ignoring that part about chaperones. She was supposed to have one anyway, rumours or no rumours. It was a drawback she had learned to get around. But her mother was firm on this point: she made Priya lie in bed for what seemed like another age, at least the whole afternoon, before coming to get her. Priya _had _considered sneaking out of her room, but she wasn't sure where Kash was and she was more likely to get lost in the palace than find him. Not to mention what it might do for her _reputation_.

She was led up to a healing room on one of the lower levels. There was, to her great surprise, a guard outside the door. Was he to stop people getting in, or to stop Kash getting out? she wondered as he stood aside to let the Carthakis through. He wouldn't be a match for Kash, not even if he's a mage.

But then she was forced to reconsider, as she stepped into the room and saw her friend. He was lying limp and straight on the bed, looking deathly pale under his dark hair. A man she had been introduced to at the welcome feast - Sir Nealan of Queenscove - was there, and he bowed to them as they entered.

"Your Imperial Highnesses."

"How is he?" Priya asked, before her mother could make any customary greeting.

Sir Nealan hesitated. "He… sleeps restfully enough, now," he replied, the meaning of this totally lost on Priya in any case. "We won't truly know until he wakes."

"When will that be?"

"It depends. The body needs time to recuperate after a big magical working, especially if it is totally drained… and considering the magic in this case… it could be days."

Priya swallowed. She took a step closer to the unfamiliar figure on the bed. Behind her she could hear Sir Nealan whispering to her mother. "Kally, did you tell her about…"

"Not yet," her mother replied shortly.

Priya stared down at her friend. She could remember when he had first come to the university, wiry and dark and wild, and angry. He seemed to be angry at everything and everyone. He had even _shouted _at her once, something about stuck-up princesses thinking they knew everything. The dressing-down she had given him in return had very nearly reduced him to tears, and he had been first wary of her, then friendly, as if trying to make up for it.

That might have been the end of it, but she couldn't help but find him fascinating. Everything he did with his Gift was extraordinary. Even the Masters must have noticed, though they did their best not to show him any special treatment. She had walked past his room one night to hear what sounded like a violin playing a beautiful, sorrowful, heart-wrenching melody, but when she went in, there was only Kash, who had always refused to take lessons on any instrument.

"Master Passinet's teaching me to play with my Gift," he explained, sheepishly.

"It's beautiful," she had said, breathless. "Do some more."

So he had. He had progressed from one instrument to two, to a small band to a full orchestra in a year. He composed his own music, more beautiful to her ears than any written by the Carthaki music masters at the palace. And when they did illusions, his were always more real, more intense, more beautiful than all the other insubstantial magics performed by his classmates. And it seemed to come so easily to him. He loved the more difficult magic, explaining that in Tortall, mages were not allowed to experiment with nearly as much freedom, Gifts usually being forced into either one of two categories: war magic, or healing. "And Wild Magic," he had added loyally.

But there was something not quite right about it all. He used magic for everything, even little things like opening and closing doors, a practice looked down upon by mages even in Carthak. When she had tentatively asked him about it, he had closed up for a moment and then said. "I don't want it to build up."

"What do you mean?" she had asked, incredulously.

He grimaced, and looked around to make sure they were alone. Ajit already knew, of course, but she wouldn't find that out until later. "If I use it too much," he said. "It… itches, like. Here." He put a hand to his breast.

"Itches?"

"Not exactly. It's hard to explain. Let's… just say it's easier if I practice all the time."

An unsatisfactory answer, but she hadn't want to upset him, and he always got touchy when the subject came up. A month later, though…

They had been riding a coach back from the royal palace. Emperor Kaddar and his wife Kalasin had wanted to get to know the son of their friends Daine and Numair better, and Priya had offered to take him to dinner. She thought it had been a nice evening, and they were talking happily in the coach, when it stopped suddenly. "What is it?" Priya asked the driver, but there was no answer from him.

"Stay here," Kash said quietly, and carefully pulled aside the curtain. He ducked almost instantly, and an arrow came through the open space where his head had been. He cursed.

"Come out, there!" they heard a booming voice jeering from outside the coach. "Come out at once with your hands up and you might live!"

"Stay here," he said again, in a low whisper. The look on his face was one of grim determination.

"No -"

"_Stay_," he demanded, and put his magic into it. Suddenly she found she couldn't move a single inch. He pushed the curtain carefully aside. "I'm coming out!" he announced, and half-climbed, half-stumbled down the stairs with his hands above his head.

"Both of you come out!" shouted another voice, reedier, but no less terrifying for its closeness.

"I'm travelling alone," she heard Kash say.

"Lies will just get you killed, boy," sneered yet another voice. How many were there? "Better tell your pretty lady friend to show her face - hoi, I said, keep your hands up!"

There was the twang of a bowstring, and the sound of wood snapping in the air. Priya hardly dared breathe, she was listening with all her might. "Mage!" someone shouted.

"You better all go," Kash said, low. "You won't like what happens if I get angry."

"Bah, mages." Someone spat. "There's only one. We can take him. Bows -"

Then there was a sound like rolling thunder, only Priya thought it was all around her, surrounding all her senses for a moment as the coach rocked and shuddered. She closed her eyes and clung onto the seat for dear life until it was over, and then… silence.

She could move, again. Tentatively she climbed out of the coach and looked around. The sight that met her eyes was one of utter devastation. They were in a patch of scrubland, the sort only seen on the long route from the palace to the university. After this was just the desert, for miles and miles. Here there would usually be bushes, reeds - and there had been, she could see them now, lying in an unhappy pile at the edge of the clearing. Here at least fifteen men lay dead before her, not a scratch on them and yet she knew they did not breathe at all.

Kash was kneeling, totally still, his hands clenched into fists on the ground. She hurried up to him, terrified that he had been hurt. "Kash?"

"I killed them," he whispered, still staring fixedly at the ground. "I killed them."

Priya looked up again and stared momentarily at the prone men. "_How_?"

"I… I don't know…" She realised he was shaking, and she knelt down beside him. "I was just trying to push them back, knock them down, but it just… got away from me. I couldn't stop it…. I… I'm a monster."

"No," she said quickly, feeling tears stinging her eyes at these words. "No, you're not. You saved both our lives."

"They couldn't have hurt us, Priya…"

"Fifteen against two? Of course they could have."

"No. I wouldn't have let them hurt you." He looked up at her then, with black-gold fire in his eyes. "Never."

She reached forward and pushed his hair back out of his face, leaned towards him, and kissed him softly. He drew back, surprise written all over his face, but he did not resist when she pulled him close to her a second time and pressed her lips firmly against his. "You are _not _a monster," she told him. "We'll figure out a way to stop your Gift… getting away from you."

"But… Priya, I just killed all these people! They'll put me in prison, at the least I'll be cast out of the University…"

"I'll take care of it."

And she had. It had taken a while for them to gather themselves enough to pile the bodies up and light them. They worked out a story where the bandits had killed each other while fighting over the coach. The driver was dead, an arrow through his eye, and they took his body back with them to the University, where Priya somehow managed to make it sound like merely a frightening ordeal.

She had bought the opal and he had worked out how to store his excess power in it. She put some of hers into the stone as well, just a touch, enough so that the stone recognised both of them. She wore it around her neck so that he would not be tempted to use it. And it had the added bonus that he always knew where she was as long as she was wearing the stone. And his magic would never hurt her, even when it spun out of control, because the opal protected her. When they realised this, she became the only person in the world with whom he could truly be himself.

After that, she would come to his room, or he would go to hers, shrouded in an invisibility spell he taught her. They told no one, not even Ajit, about the stolen kisses in the night. Priya knew that her father would be furious if he found out, but she couldn't help it. She was in love with a boy who continued to fascinate her, whose smile made her heart skip a beat, whose sorrows were her sorrows. He was always very firm that it was only a temporary situation. She tried not to be disappointed that he didn't seem to feel the same way about her, at least not outwardly. But then, he had a lot more to lose. His life, for example, if it became known that he had been secreting away with an Imperial Princess. She had to believe that her relationship to her father's Tortallan friends would save him, if it came to that, but it was still a dreadful risk for him to take, so she didn't push the issue.

Except now he had told her he loved her. And she thought she must have known all along, that he had just been holding back so that his heart wouldn't be broken when she eventually had to marry. _And my heart,_ she realised, tears stinging in her eyes as she looked down at his still, pale face. _If I thought he never loved me, I wouldn't realise how much I had lost. He only told me because he thought we were going to die. But we didn't, and now I have to marry a stranger knowing that Kash loves me. _

"Come, Priyana," she heard her mother calling her as though from a great distance. "You both need to rest."

She reached out and let her fingers brush for a second against his cheek. "Goodbye," she whispered. "I'll come back. I promise."


	9. Little Brother

When he woke, there was a warm, comfortable weight leaning against his legs. He lay there for a while, enjoying the softness of the bed and the familiarity of that gentle heartbeat.

"Sarra?" he murmured.

The warm weight shifted, and then the thing on his bed had shimmied along the covers to lick him full in the face.

"Blegh!" he exclaimed, wiping his face with one hand and pushing the furry muzzle away with the other. "That's disgusting."

The dog wuffed excitedly and tried to lick him again, but he fended her off, rubbing her fiercely between the ears as her tail thwapped enthusiastically against his leg.

He had almost forgotten the dog. She was big but beautiful, with long golden hair and big brown eyes. When he was little she had hopped onto the bed with him whenever he had had a nightmare. Even when they got a little older, when Sarralyn got her own room, somehow the dog would always know when he needed someone there to hold on to. Even when he was crying himself to sleep after yet another argument with his father, she would be there. He missed that.

"Do _not _slobber on me," he warned her now, only just looking around to see where he was. For a moment he had thought he was a boy again, back in his room in Master Numair's chambers. But it was not his room. It wasn't the new room either, the one he had been sleeping in before…

He frowned and pinched the bridge of his nose as memory flooded in like a crashing tide.

_Four strong mages I have killed with my power, and taken their power for my own. And when I have yours, no mage on earth will be my better or my equal. _

The dog whined. When he didn't immediately respond, she hopped off the bed and went behind a screen. After a short time and the sounds of someone dressing hurriedly, Sarra came out from behind it. "What is it?" she asked. "Are you in pain?"

"No," he said, scrambling into a sitting position as she came up beside him. "No… I don't think so. How long was I…?"

"Almost two weeks now," she said, and he dropped his hand to stare at her blearily. She had put on a light cotton shift; barefoot, she knelt beside the bed. "Do you remember?"

"I remember the barrier coming down." _Back! Your Majesty - Da - get them back!_

"Not… afterwards?"

_Just so you know… I do love you. _

"No. Just… the barrier coming down." He ran a hand through his hair, then brought it back to stare at it. Nothing.

"Rikash?"

There was nothing. No tug, no pull, no itch. No pain. No battle inside. He felt whole, for the first time since he could remember. For a moment he panicked, thinking that maybe he had gone too far, maybe his Gift had abandoned him entirely, but when he reached for it, it was there. Not right at the surface, flickering under the skin, but deep down at his core, where it was supposed to be. At least, where all the books said it was supposed to be.

"Rikash?"

He blinked, and looked up at his sister. The concern in her face made him wince inwardly. "What? I'm fine… I just… feel different."

Her face fell slightly. "I should get Da."

"No!" he was surprised at his own furosity. "Sarra… I need to know… Priya…"

"She's fine. She woke up days ago. She's been here every day since."

_She's alive. _Relief washed over him, but it was short-lived. The barrier had come down. Yes, he had reached for it, used everything he had to find the source of its power and destroy it. He remembered a room, a table with a model of Language Street. There had been people… and he had heard them scream, felt the life fleeing their bodies. And the barrier had come down.

"They're dead," he said, turning back to stare at his hands.

"No," Sarra said, touching his knee. "No, little brother, everyone's all right. The princess, Ma and Da, everyone."

The way she called him _little brother _made him shrink inside. He was eighteen, a man grown, but she saw the boy he wished he still was. _She wouldn't call me that if she knew the things I'd done. _

"I'll fetch Da," she said, and this time he didn't argue. When she opened the door to leave he caught a glimpse of the guards outside and almost laughed. _They know. They know how dangerous I am. _

He knew he should never have come back. He should have stayed in Carthak, finished his Mastery and gone travelling, like he had always wanted. But people would want to know _why _he wouldn't come. They always wanted to know _why_. And Priya had had to come, and he hadn't thought he could survive so long without her. _She would be dead if you hadn't come_, a little voice said, and another voice said, _if you hadn't come she would never have been in danger. _

When Numair came, he was lying on his side, half asleep again. He couldn't remember ever feeling so tired, before, and yet every time he closed his eyes he heard the screams of the rainbow mages, tied to their opals, shrieking as the full force of his power devoured them.

"I killed them," he said when Numair sat beside him, and his father did not try to argue with him. "How many?" he asked after a minute of terrible silence.

"Eight," his father told him. He did not sound angry, but somehow that was worse. "Not counting your friend Arabi."

Kash felt hot tears come to his eyes, and he put his hands over his face.

"Son," Numair said. "They were trying to kill you. And the Imperial Princess. You are not to blame. Though how you did it, I still cannot quite understand…"

"I didn't want to kill anyone," Kash said angrily, angry at himself, angry at Arabi, angry at the stupid mages who had tried to take Priya from him. "I never wanted… I just want…"

"Sometimes we don't get what we want," Numair said. "Sometimes we have to do the hard thing for the people we care about."

_Very wise, Da, _Kash thought, but he didn't say it.

"Rikash… do you remember what happened when we brought you back here? You were in pain, out of control…"

"No," Kash said, his head suddenly pounding. "No, I don't remember…"

"You don't remember the Goddess?"

Kash took his hands away from his face. "Grandmother?"

"No, the Mother Goddess. She said she gave you a gift."

Kash's forehead suddenly burned cold. He put a hand to it instinctively.

_Then my gift to him comes now_. _And don't argue, brother. You have meddled enough with Weiryn's grandson. He will not thank you for it. _

"It seems we were wrong to blame you for whatever problems you have had with your Gift," Numair said darkly.

"Mithros," Kash breathed. He wasn't sure if he was swearing or if it was realisation.

"Yes."

Kash thought back to all the years he had struggled to contain his power. All the years he had been set apart by being different, by being _too _powerful, too out of control, too unruly. _Dead bandits lying in the road, without a scratch on them. _"Why?" he asked hoarsely.

"I don't know, son. Your mother has tried…" Numair shrugged helplessly. "For now we can only wait. The gods will reveal their intentions in time, I have no doubt." He sounded bitter, but Kash knew his anger was not directed at him. "But for now… how do you feel?"

"Better," Kash said. "I feel as though I slept for a year."

"Thankfully it was not quite that long. And now that there is no longer any danger of you destroying the castle in your sleep…"

Kash winced. "That bad?"

"You remotely destroyed a barrier anchored by eight opals. This palace would have been less than a challenge. Your Gift was like… like a disease, killing you from the inside out. Without the Goddess' intervention I'm sure you would have destroyed us all, including yourself."

Kash did not know what to say to that. "I'm sorry," he said eventually.

His father only looked at him blankly. "No," he replied, after a long moment. "I am sorry." He sighed. "We always thought Sarra was going to be the difficult one. Your mother's pregnancy with you was easier by far than with your sister. I should have paid more attention. I might have realised that things were happening to you that were beyond your control." He put a cold hand on Kash's pale arm, staring into the face that was so like a younger version of his own. "I'm sorry I sent you away, Kash."

"I'm not." Kash smiled. "You called me Kash."

"I am not fit to argue when a man chooses his own name."

_True enough, Arram_, thought Kash's inner voice, while the other voice thought, _a man. He called me a man. _

"I like it in Carthak," he said truthfully. "I like the University - oh gods, they aren't going to expel me, are they?"

"That would be up to Master Ypit, but I doubt it," Numair replied, a suggestion of amusement in his expression. "These events may delay your Mastery indefinitely, however…"

He had been expecting that, but it still stung. "That's all right. I wouldn't make a Master of me either."

Sir Nealan appeared then, and distracted Kash from these thoughts for a good half hour while he poked and prodded and did Healing spells that set his teeth on edge. "Even if what you did was possible, which I still can't believe, the blast alone should have killed you," the healer knight said, as though affronted that Kash had survived with little more than a headache and weakness all over. "Another day in bed, I think, and then _if _you feel strong enough, you may get up."

Kash was too tired to argue. His eyes were closed and his head back on the pillow almost before the sentence was finished. For a moment he thought he heard his father's voice, and a cool touch of lips against his forehead, but sleep overtook him again before he could quite make sense of it.

_The time is coming_, said a voice in the darkness of his dreams. _You must be ready._

* * *

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	10. Conversations

Kash did not expect everyone to be so forgiving as Numair, and he was right to worry. Master Ypit was the next to visit him, and Kash was glad he was hardly awake for that conversation, because he was sure he wouldn't have liked what he could remember of it. From what he _did _remember, his Mastery would have to wait until next year, and that only on the condition that he could show he had full control over his Gift.

It was a blow, but it could have been worse. Master Passinet hinted that Ypit had wanted to throw him out of the university entirely. "I wish you had said something to me," the old music master sighed.

"You would have said I was crazy," Kash muttered, staring at his knees.

"At first, perhaps. I still would have liked to help you before things got this far out of control."

Kash nodded and kept his mouth shut. He had killed nine people. Perhaps he _should _have asked for help earlier. No one had said anything about the bandits, and he took that to mean that Priya hadn't told anyone. Part of him was grateful. The other part might have preferred not to have _any _dirty secrets left at all, but he was not going to betray Priya's trust now by revealing her part in the affairs of that day. She had, after all, helped dispose of the bodies.

His mother came. There were tears in her eyes as soon as she looked at him, which made him feel sick. His mother _never _cried. "Ma…" he protested.

"I thought you were _dead_," she said, stamping her foot angrily and putting her hands over her face. "I had to hold Kalasin back when all I wanted was to help you…"

"I know, Ma," Kash sighed. "You couldn't've, though."

She sat on the edge of the bed and traced the edge of his jaw with her fingers, brushing the dark stubble where he hadn't shaved due to being unconscious. "Just like your father," she sighed. "I know that's not what you want to hear…"

"Da's smarter than me," Kash said. "He wouldn't've tried a mad stunt like that."

"Only because he would have failed." His mother looked searchingly into his eyes. "Do you remember what the Mother Goddess said?"

"I think so. I keep dreaming about it."

"And you feel better now?"

Kash snapped his fingers and balanced a black-gold flame between them. It behaved itself perfectly. "Steady as a rock, I swear."

Daine still did not look sanguine. "I thought the gods were through with meddling in our lives," she sighed.

The King was a lot less forgiving. He had taken ill since the barrier's destruction and did not come himself, but sent Sir Alan to scold him. "I heard you almost took down the entire palace," the redheaded knight said, frowning.

"I didn't _mean _to," Kash assured him. "My Gift was just... I'm sorry."

Sir Alan was not reassured by this lack of explanation, neither were any of the palace mages they sent to examine him to make sure he was sane and not likely to blow anything up in the near future. Passinet eventually got angry and sent them away.

"I am more than satisfied that my student is no danger to the palace," he told Sir Alan. "As a Master of the University of Carthak I would hope you would accept my word."

Still, it was two days before they let him get out of bed, and even then he felt like he was being watched as he walked slowly back to his room. Ajit met him, looking relieved. "That was the scariest thing I have ever seen," he said seriously, referring to the appearance of the Goddess. "I thought she was going to take you out."

"The Goddess doesn't kill people," Kash dismissed him. "Did you get in trouble?"

Ajit grimaced. "I have to assist Master Ypit with several delicate workings."

"Well… that's not _too_ bad..."

"And lines," Ajit added darkly.

"How many?"

"I don't know, he hasn't finished giving them to met yet."

Kash winced. "Sorry."

Ajit shrugged. "Well, I could have said I didn't know anything."

He had to ask. "And Priya?"

Ajit rolled his eyes. "She gets away with everything. Apparently getting kidnapped was punishment enough for her." He frowned. "Look, you and Priya… you aren't… you haven't been…"

"Of course not." Kash forced down his emotions. He didn't _like _keeping things from his friend, but when it was a matter of life and death, well…

"Only Ariba seemed to think you were."

_And I wonder how she knew, _Kash thought, not for the first time. "And we all thought Ariba was dead, what does that say?"

"Hm. Have you seen her?"

"Ariba?"

"Priya."

Kash shook his head. "Sarra said she came every day when I was out of it, but after I woke up…"

"The Emperor probably forbad it. There are rumours, you know. A lot of people heard Ariba say you were lovers."

"Ariba was mad, Ajit. Angry and murderous and mad." He deflected the rest of Ajit's questions and, feigning weariness, went to his room.

He washed, shaved, and changed into shirt and breeches, ignoring his journeyman's robes laid out over a chair. Then, after a moment's hesitation, he slipped out of the room and went outside. It was a cool morning, a welcome relief from the confines of the palace walls. He closed his eyes for a moment and breathed in the fresh air, bringing with it the smell of horses from the stables and lavender hanging over the nearest wall. It was a comforting Tortallen sort of smell.

There was a cat over by the wall, staring at him. He glared at it. "Shoo," he said, waving his hands at it. "Go on. I don't need you spying on me." The cat didn't even look guilty, but then, cats never did. It skulked off. Kash had no doubt there were others around, where he couldn't see. Of course they weren't going to just let him wander around after what happened.

There was one creature he didn't mind following him around. He had gone three paces away from the entrance when three marmosets came skipping towards him over the wall, and one of them leapt onto his shoulder and began to scold him mercilessly. "Yes, yes," he said, reaching up to scratch Meko soothingly behind the ears. "I'm all right. Good thing you hadn't been with me, you would've probably been blasted to a cinder. _Joking_," he sighed when the squeaking became higher and louder. He winced and rubbed his ear. "Where've you been, anyway?"

The marmoset nuzzled at his ear and curled up at the nape of his neck, little claws digging into his tunic with a determined finality. _Not letting you out of my sight again_. Kash didn't need Sarra or Daine around to translate when the little creature's actions were so easy to read.

Suko and Iki ran round his ankles a few times and then headed off towards the stables. For lack of anything better to do, Kash followed them.

He liked the stables. He had spent a lot of time here as a child, usually with Sarra, sometimes with Lianokami or the other royal children. And, of course… "Uday?"

"Morning." The boy somehow didn't look any older than when Kash had last seen him, four years ago. He was younger than Kash by only a year or two, but there was a queer agelessness to him that he'd had since the age of twelve. When he smiled, he could have been a child, when he frowned, he might have passed for a forty year old. He was sitting on the edge of the loft. When Kash waved, he slipped off the edge with ease, landing in a carefully-positioned pile of hay. "You've been busy since you got back."

"I didn't mean to be. Shouldn't you be in classes?"

Kash looked the boy up and down. You certainly couldn't tell from the outside that he was a powerful mage. He wore patched and tattered tunic and leggings, and soft boots. There was straw in his hair and his face was plain as any peasant. The only clue that there was anything out of the ordinary about him were the eyes, one hazel, the other, periwinkle-blue. The boy shrugged and put his hands in his pockets. "Probably. Shouldn't you be dead?"

Kash grinned. "I used to skip magic classes too. Look what happened to me."

"From what they're saying in the palace, the classes wouldn't have helped any."

"You've been listening at doors again. What would your mother say?"

Uday smirked. Suko scrambled up his leg and nosed in his pocket, pulling out a pawful of raisins.

"So _this _is where you've been hiding out while I was on my deathbed," Kash accused Meko. The marmoset squeaked angrily at him.

"And if speech wasn't enough, now they start to understand sarcasm," Uday said, shaking his head with amusement.

"Ma's creatures are special," Kash admitted.

"Ah, but that one's yours," Uday pointed out, gesturing at Meko. "Or you're his. He certainly thinks you are."

"Dabbling in Wild Magic, are you?" Kash raised an eyebrow.

"Hardly. Actually I want to know about _your _Gift. They say you brought down an opal-bound barrier held by eight mages. By yourself, _after _a duel."

Kash looked away. He liked Uday, but there was an otherworldliness in his eyes that was unnerving, and besides, there were some things he would rather people _didn't _know. "I have an opal of my own."

Uday laughed. "One against eight, that sounds fair."

"It wasn't, but she tried to hurt Priya. I was all out, but I've been storing power in the stone for a while -" Kash bit back the words, eyes widening. "Did you just - I didn't want to say that -"

Uday grinned apologetically. "I figured. How did you break the barrier?"

Kash felt it that time, a gentle touch behind his eyes, prompting. In his mind's eye the touch was pink, green and yellow. "I - stop that!" He grit his teeth. It wasn't a _strong _truth spell, but that it had worked on him was surprising enough. Perhaps he was still weak. Or whatever the Goddess had done meant he wasn't as impervious to others' magery as he had been. The third possibility was too disturbing to even think about.

"Sorry," Uday said, and did not try again.

"Don't do that again," Kash growled. "You don't want to be inside my head, trust me."

"As you wish. Rikash, I need to ask -"

"I said _don't_."

"I wasn't going to! I just want to talk to you."

Kash stared at the innocent face, appearing suddenly a great deal younger than its years. "Well… later, all right? I want to be alone right now."

Uday nodded, and before Kash knew it he was lost in the shadows of the stables. _That one is so strange_, he thought to himself as he followed Suko and Iki out of the side door onto the slope of the hill. He found a sheltered spot and sat on the grass, leaning against a tree, the marmosets curling up on his chest and in the crook of his arm, warm bodies inhaling and exhaling slightly against his skin.

With his eyes closed, he could curl his fingers into the grass and become one with the earth. He let his breathing even out into a meditative rhythm and closed his ears to anything but his own heartbeat. So, the gods had a plan for him, just as they had for his parents. He wished they would have chosen someone else, but at least he knew now there was a reason. He was different for a reason.

His peace was interrupted by the pages and squires marching up to the stables after their morning's ride. He ducked behind the tree and stayed very still until they went away. _You're hiding_, said a familiar voice by his knee, and he jumped.

"Kit! Don't do that!"

_Why are you hiding? _The dragonet, bright blue from nose-tip to claws, nudged Iki aside to sit beside him.

Kash sighed. "I'm ashamed, Kit."

_Why? _

Kash resisted the urge to bang his head back against the tree trunk. He had almost forgotten that he had _two _sisters who could never pass up the chance to interrogate him. "Kit, please, I just… want to be alone, for a while."

_Da says you oughtn't be alone. _

"Right, in case I tear a crater through the gardens?"

Kit chirped in annoyance. _What do you have to be ashamed of? _

"I _killed_ people, Kit. And that's not who I am, you know that. I know I get… moody, but I never wanted to hurt anyone."

_People who tried to hurt you and the Princess, have only themselves to blame. I saw you. It was very brave._

Kash smiled sadly. "You're the only one who seems to think so."

_Not so. Da thinks you were brave. So does Ma, and the Empress. _

"The Empress?" Kash blinked in surprise.

_She told Kaddar they should reward you for saving their daughter. _

Kash shook his head. "They should punish me for getting her kidnapped in the first place. It was a trap for me, the whole time."

Kit growled. It was not _very _menacing coming from such a tiny dragon, but still. "All right, all right," Kash said. "I'll try not to feel _too _sorry for myself. It's just… everything was going really well. I was finding my place, away from Tortall, at the University. I had good friends, a good Master, I was going to get my Mastery this year, and now…"

_Now you still have all those things. You just have to show you haven't changed. _

"But I _have _changed. The Goddess did something… I don't know if I'm even as powerful as I was. And I'm…" he took a breath and looked away. "Kit, I think I'm afraid to try."

* * *

Hope you enjoyed this chapter! Just so you guys know I will probably take a bit more time over the next one as I had to rush to get this one finished by the promised deadline. So no promises for the next chapter!

If anyone is confused as to who Uday is, I highly recommend you read A Dragon's Tale from Tortall and Other Lands. It's perhaps worth mentioning that everything about him in this story is made up by me except his name and the colours of his Gift, (as he was a baby in the story) but canonically he's still the only character we know of in the Tortall universe with a Gift in three colours.

For more insight and stuff please visit/follow my blog: misssaigonfic. tumblr. com. Thanks to everyone who has commented and followed the story so far.


	11. Song of the Sea

No one could come up with a good excuse for Kash not to return to his classes the following day. Kash himself thought he ought to refrain from any serious magic, just in case, but the only class on the agenda for that day was music, and _that _at leasthe knew he could do without blowing up anything structurally important.

He had to be reunited with Priya first, however. He was escorted by two of the Imperial Guard to the Princess' chambers, and she was chaperoned by the Empress herself, who sat in a chair by the window. It hardly seemed to matter, however, when the door was opened and she was right there in front of his eyes.

She stared at him for a long while, something very strange and sorrowful in her eyes, and then, with the barest hint of a cough from her mother, she bent into a low curtsey, the kind reserved for royalty.

"Don't do that," he said quickly, and then, realising his company, added, "Please, Princess, I - you really oughtn't."

"I hope you do not presume to tell me what I should or should not do, Master Salmalin," she said, with only the barest hint of a smile.

"Of course not," he replied, ducking his head. Of course she couldn't say what she really felt, he realised, his heart sinking. Not in front of her mother, and neither could he. Would they ever get to say the words they needed to say?

"Princess Priyana owes you her life," Empress Kalasin explained. She was holding embroidery in her hands, but made no attempt to pretend to do it. Kash got the impression it was there purely for show. Perhaps embroidery was the sort of thing chaperones usually did; he had no idea, since Priya had never bothered with them before now. "You are due her greatest respect, and mine." She nodded to him, and he flushed. He couldn't think of anything at all to say to that.

"I was told you visited my bedside daily during my… while I was ill," he said instead to Priya. Diplomatic talk was not really his thing either, come to think of it, which was embarrassing, especially considering he had been close friends with a royal for the last few years. He got tongue-tied in formal situations. "I thank you."

Priya curtseyed again. Kash did not know if that was acceptance or dismissal. He found himself wishing he hadn't fallen asleep quite so often in etiquette lessons.

"Priyana will see you again at your lesson," Kalasin said, waving at the guard to open the door. _Dismissal_, Kash thought gloomily as he left the room and made his way back through the royal apartments, which were heavy with guards. They all stared at him as he passed before returning to their duty. No one else was getting kidnapped on this trip, that was certain enough. He shook his head and tried to put Priya out of his mind, for now.

He had a pleasant lunch with Sarra out in the palace grounds. There was one good thing to come out of this, he supposed, and that was the bridge that had started to form across the gap that had grown between him and his sister while he had been away in Carthak. She had grown into a remarkable young woman, he began to see quite clearly. She sensed his reluctance to be around big crowds of people, and brought him food that they could eat while walking, as she pointed out improvements being made to the stable for pages and squires, and introduced him to a dozen new palace cats and dogs as they came up to greet her. He was even able to forget about what was coming that afternoon for a moment or two, until the bell rang and he felt his stomach turn over.

Sarra kissed him and told him good luck, and he made his way back into the palace and up to where the journeymen were gathering in the greater dining hall. An assortment of guests, including some from the royal music hall, had gathered to watch. The King was there, again, and so were Kash's family, just to complicate things. He joined the line at the end and followed Ajit and the others into the open space left for them. Then he had to walk past everyone else to the end as the students moved into formation - brass, strings, woodwind, percussion, and chorus.

Kash was always chorus. He could do instruments just as well, but no one else could manipulate the sound of hundreds of individual voices, harmony and melody, the way he could. He only hoped he could _still _do it, or the embarrassment would haunt him for the rest of his life. As he took his place, he couldn't help but feel very strange that he was here at all. To everyone else, he had been away for weeks, but to him, having been asleep all that time, it felt like only a day or two since he had been destroying the lives of nine people. It didn't seem fair that he should be here, now, allowed to continue with anything so frivolous as music, after that.

None of the students had actual instruments, though nearly all of them had had to learn to actually play them first. The Carthak University orchestra was Master Passinet's greatest pride and joy, and he prided himself on being able to create complex and beautiful music from thin air that was just as magnificent as that played the traditional way. Some students were better at this than others, but Passinet had worked hard to bring them all up to a level he was proud to show to Kings and Emperors.

Making music had come almost as naturally to Kash as breathing. It was his example that had given Passinet the idea in the first place. Kash could have played almost the whole orchestra on his own, of course, but oddly enough no one ever mentioned that.

"Look at them," Ajit hissed to him as they took their places. Kash looked up and saw the music hall people frowning and whispering to each other, apparently angered by their lack of physical instruments. Passinet did not seem to even notice.

"Very well journeymen," he said, and his voice echoed up and around the hall, easily audible from the raised dias where the onlookers were sitting. Kash could see his parents holding hands, Sarra sneaking in at the back, the royal family, and, to his great surprise, Uday. There were guards around the doors, despite Priya, who was playing first flute, being nestled safely between the girls to either side. "Now we are all together again, I think it is time we demonstrated some of our repertoire. We will begin with Rodin, I think. Percussion, let us not get carried away. Yamia, I should like a little more oboe this time. Salmalin -"

Kash jumped. He had been so busy looking at the spectators that had had almost forgotten what he was supposed to be doing.

"Pay attention," Passinet said, giving him a meaningful look. "And not too heavy on the tenor."

Kash nodded, trying not to go red. _Don't think about it_, he told himself firmly. _If you think about it you won't be able to. Just do it. _There wasn't a great deal more time to think about it however, because Passinet had raised his hands, and Priya had played a single, haunting note on the flute, and the music had begun.

The angry muttering died away almost instantly as the rest of the journeymen used their Gifts to create a swelling undertone that grew steadily until it was a resounding chord. Kash felt his chest swell with pride for Master Passinet as the man, smiling broadly, swept his arms upward, holding the chord until it crashed down again, like the breaking of a wave. The piece by Rodin had been written especially for Passinet some years before, and he constantly told his students how he had searched for the right way to perform it. Kash had to admit the sound emanating from fifteen or so young people who weren't even moving, except for the occasional twitch of a hand, or tap of a foot, was impressive.

There was a good five minutes of music before Kash even had to do anything. As the sound swelled around him he felt himself getting more and more nervous, forcing himself to watch his Master's conducting instead of the stunned faces of the royal music hall. What if he called on his Gift and nothing came out? Little flames were one thing, but he had to manipulate a hundred individual voices. Of course he could just use the same eight voices over and over, but the sound would be wooden, false. Passinet would never forgive him. Perhaps if he cut the choir down to fifty voices? But he knew the hundred so well, he knew how they worked, how they blended together. He started to have horrible visions of what would happen when the music slowed and there was no melody. The audience didn't know the piece, would they notice? Would Passinet be able to save it somehow? He wished he had practiced even a little.

He looked down the line at the journeymen, all of their faces tight and narrow with concentration as the piece introduced fish, and octopi, and whales. Most of them played only one instrument with their Gift, the one they knew best. Some of the percussionists could manage two at once. No one had even thought of seriously attempting playing music with their Gift until Kash proved utterly incompetent at playing even the simplest physical instrument and had started doing it 'the other way'. And now, when he failed, all Passinet's hopes for the future of this strange new art form would be completely dashed.

The music slowed, the tide coming in as the various instruments representing the creatures of the sea began to die away. He could feel himself start to panic, and where a few weeks ago his Gift would probably have started overpowering him and doing who-knows-what with his panic, there was only a terrible empty feeling. He couldn't do it. He couldn't even try. His Gift was different. _He _was different. The Goddess had touched him, changed him somehow, and no one, least of all him, truly understood what that meant.

And then, from the line of journeymen, a face looked over at him. It was Priya. She smiled at him, and suddenly he didn't feel empty at all, but full, full of feeling and music and magic. When Passinet lifted a hand and motioned in his direction, Kash didn't even hesitate. A choir of a hundred voices filled the hall, singing the song of the sea.

_A silence that carries the earth's heart beating_

_A following whisper of worlds yet unknown_

_Dark waves and bright water, _

_In moonlight and sunlight_

_And singing, and sighing, the transient home_

_Oh call to Araiya, the Queen of the Water_

_Oh Goddess, light o'er the silvery waves_

_A Gift left untouched _

_In the kingdom of silence_

_And singing, and sighing, the transient home._

He had to take a breath to bring himself back. He'd been so deep into his Gift that he'd almost forgotten where he was. He let himself relax. There were six more verses, but he had at least four minutes to catch his breath. He wondered, vaguely, if Master Passinet had chosen the Rodin for precisely that reason, to give him breathing space. But no, surely that was giving the old man too much credit. If he hadn't seen there was a problem before, surely he couldn't have sensed it today.

Kash did not look at the spectators. He knew it would only distract him, make him panic again. _Really Gods-blessed good time to get stage fright_, he thought, keeping his eyes on Passinet. But somehow, incredibly, he got through the rest of it. Whenever he felt like he might fail, he looked at Priya, and somehow she was always looking back at him, encouragement shining in her dark eyes. What he wouldn't give for a real conversation with her!

As the song ended, and the spectators burst into wondrous applause, he realised he wanted more than anything to go back to Carthak. For things to go back to the way they had been. And this time he wouldn't worry about the future, wouldn't spend thankless hours concerning himself with what might be. He would spend every waking moment thanking the Gods that he had Priya, for now, and that was all that mattered.

Except things weren't ever going to be the same again, he realised as Master Passinet took his bow. People _know _now. Nothing will ever be the same.


End file.
